Friday, November 12, 2010

A Christmas Story

A Christmas killing in Birmingham

It was a bitterly cold December morning in the 1920s in the city of Birmingham, a few days before Christmas. I cursed the fact that I had to break the ice in the deep enamel bowl in the brewhouse in my backyard before I could get to the water beneath to have a quick shave and a wash. -But all the same, I knew I was one of the lucky ones in our street. At least I still had a job to go to.

I don’t know why I always used to put the water into the old enamel bowl, last thing at night ready for my morning wash. But my Father had always done it and his Father before him.

Over the years I have concluded that we Brummies like tradition. It helps us to establish who we are and where we are in relation to the world beyond Smethwick, I suppose!

It was just after five am by the watch on my Albert, as I tucked it back into the watch pocket on my waistcoat. I pulled my overcoat about me and tightened my muffler around my neck. I had to look after my chest. Ever since my three years in the trenches I 'd had a bad chest. I hadn’t been caught up in a gas attack like a lot of the other fellows, but three years up to your knees in mud, filthy water and the blood of your mates does something to a man.

It had snowed in the night. Not much, just a couple of inches or so. Certainly not as much as we used to get in the olden days!

The snow was crisp and it sparkled in the yellow glow of the gas mantles in the street. Not so long ago at this time of day the whole street would already have been criss-crossed with the tramp of many pairs of feet going to and from work. But now mine were the only footprints as I crunched through the fresh snow.

I was only halfway down our street when I almost stumbled over the body. It had obviously lain on the pavement since before the snow had started, as it was completely covered in a white blanket of snow.

I knew it would cost me -perhaps even a day’s pay, or more- but there are some things a man must do.

When I looked down, I noticed the blood had not so much congealed, but frozen to the pavement and the snow that had touched it had been stained a deep crimson.

I crouched down and touched the body. As I thought, dead. He was stiff and it was not rigor mortis, but the cold that had done it. The police very rarely came down our street, so I knew no bobby on his beat would see the body. The nearest the police ever came -unless there was trouble at the Cross and Bishop- was a small square two streets away. I’d have to find a policeman there, if I could.

I set off as fast as I dared, arriving a few minutes later having nearly slipped over a couple of times.

I had supposed rightly. The policeman was stamping his feet trying to keep warm in the heat that was barely seeping from the doorway of Rogers’ bakery.

Officer, I was just setting off for work and I found a dead body in Collins Street, just round the corner.”

Who might you be?”

David Shakeshaft. I live in Collins Street. I was just on my way to work.”

He followed me without a further word.

He looked at the body before he stooped down and brushed some of the snow from the face of the corpse with a gloved hand. It’s straggly moustache was stiffer than it had ever been in life.

Been here quite a while, with all this snow on him. Do you recognise him?”

I suppose it was a sort of a shock at first, when I saw the face. But I quickly recovered.

Yes, it’s a neighbour. Not a near neighbour, but a neighbour all the same. His name’s Bill Sampson. Lives four or five doors up from here, almost opposite the opening of Merry Court. He's got a wife and a couple of kiddies. -At least, he did have.”

The officer took my details and asked me questions about Sampson.

I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, not even of people like Sampson, but I had to tell him as much as I could.

Looks like he’s been beaten” opined the policeman. “Quite badly too.”

I dug my hands deeper into my pockets to keep the cold out.

The policeman took out his whistle and gave two sharp, piercing blasts that must have woken everyone for several streets around. I was asked to go to the police station to make a statement. I left before anyone else turned up in our usually quiet street.

After I made my statement several times over, they let me leave the station and in the early afternoon I got to my place of work.

The works owner, Mr Tweedy, was angry with me, until I told him what had happened. Mr Tweedy was of the old school. Besides which, like me, he had served in the Warwicks in the Great War and he understood things like duty and honour. But he had been an officer and I had been a lowly corporal.

Well done, Shakeshaft” he had said. “Of course, I could dock you a whole day’s pay, but I’ll only dock you half a day, but get on with some work and finish at the regular time.”

I thanked him and did as he had told me, though my mind was not really on it.

Of course, by the time I got back everyone was talking about the body which had long since been taken to the city morgue. The snow was now almost entirely gone. The women of the street were standing around in little knots, talking, whilst keeping an eye on their children who were playing in the remains of the snow as the gas lamps were lit by the old man who had done the job ever since I could remember.

The men were waiting for the Cross and Bishop to open, muttering about the murder.

We all met in the snug.

So, he’s dead is he?”

Yes.”

They looked at me. As if they expected me to do something.

I took a sip of my mild before setting the pot back down on the scarred, round table before me.

What are we going to do?”

That was said by a small sharp-featured man who I only knew as Billy, who worked as a bookies runner.

I shrugged. “What do you suggest?”

He glanced at me. “Will they know who did it?”

Big Bob growled; “Not if we all keep quiet.”

Tommy Moore looked up with his naturally sad face even more morose than usual. Longer and worse than Livery Street on a wet November morning.

We only meant to give him a bit of a beating. Teach him a lesson, like. We didn’t mean for him to die,” he whined.

What are his widow and children going to do?” That was Taffy Ellis, a small, practically-minded Welshman who had come to Birmingham some years before, looking for work. Even though he had only been sporadically successful, somehow he had never managed to return home to his beloved Welsh valleys. Apparently times were even harder, there. God help them, was all I could say to that!

I think we should hold a collection for them. It’s the least we can do,” I replied.

Yes, the least we can do, seeing as how we murdered her husband,” moaned Tommy.

Anyone who talks like that is being stupid! We didn’t murder him. For all we know, the cold might have killed him. Or maybe someone happened along and robbed him.”

Although my mind was in a turmoil, I tried to sound as calm as I could. I didn’t want them panicking. I had seen men crack in the trenches. Any one of these lads could crack and they’d see us all dancing at the end of a rope in Winson Green nick. -I’d have to try and steady them down.

Keep calm, lads. There’s no point in us getting in a state. and keep your voices down. -We don’t want everyone knowing our business.

We didn’t do anything wrong. Sampson was a piece of shit who kept beating his wife and his kiddies. –I don’t approve of it myself, I’m not saying if it’s right or wrong, but I bet even someone here might have clipped their missus once or twice.

But Sampson always went too far. He would have killed his wife and perhaps the two little kiddies, too. He never knew when to stop when he’d a few too many inside of him. and that was most of the time. Though God knows where he got the money. -He never worked even when there were jobs!”

Although none of them laughed, most of them smiled at my little joke. -It certainly seemed to take the heat out of the situation.

We agreed to say nothing to anyone else about what had happened and we arranged to hold a collection for his widow and the two little kiddies.

We didn’t collect much because, well, because we didn’t have much in our street. But I like to think it helped her, a little, coming up to Christmas as it was.

I’d always had a soft spot for Jenny Green, or Jenny Sampson as she became, even when we were kiddies, but the war had intervened and when I had returned in 1918, she had already married Sampson and had settled down to eight years of hell.

Eventually after a couple of years of discrete courting -or as discrete as courting ever can be in Brum!- I married Jenny and took on the two kiddies, as well, of course and they moved into my house, from the house that they rented. I was a bit of a rare 'un, you see. We'd owned our house for donkey's years.

I have heard it said that a man and his wife should keep no secrets from each other.

Normally, I would agree.

Normally. But the fact is, you see, I did keep one secret from her. A fairy big secret, really. The secret I am sharing with you, now.

The fact was, that I had murdered her first husband. Me, by myself.

I’ll have to tell you a bit of the background. In the pub that December night, the evening before his body had been found, Sampson had been boasting about how he had realised he could get out of even having to go through the motions of the pretence of thinking about buying presents for his two children.

I can’t be bothered to buy the little buggers presents, but that damn fool woman of mine will insist on buying them something every bloody Christmas. -Why should I let that bitch waste my good drinking money on buying presents for them?”

Of course, it hadn’t been his drinking money. It had been money that Jenny had scrimped and scraped all year long to buy their two children a couple of cheap presents. Money she’d grafted for with damned hard collar at a variety of jobs from washing clothes to doing outwork.

How did you do that, then?” Taffy had asked him. Although Sampson was too drunk to notice, the normally easygoing Taffy had a hard edge to his voice that I had never heard before. Taffy's bluey-green eyes seemed to flash.

Easy! I just told the little buggers that I had found Father Christmas in the back yard and I’d murdered him and buried him under the Miskin!”

The way he said it, he had expected a laugh from his audience. He had misjudged it. The surly, heavy silence unsettled him.

At closing time we followed him from the pub. I can’t remember who threw the first punch, but we all joined in, giving him a good, solid Brummagem beating.

When he staggered off down the street, we didn’t follow, but ran the other way, laughing and whooping like a gang of little schoolboys.

When I reached my door, I cursed myself, realising that I had left my pipe and tobacco at the Cross and Bishop.

I turned and walked back to the pub. Fortunately the Landlord, Jack something-or-other, I can’t recall his other name, had not locked up yet, so he let me in to pick up my pipe and pouch of tobacco.

He gave me an old fashioned look, but said nothing.

As I left the pub which was at the top of our street, I heard Jack sliding the bolts of the outer door into place.

I had barely walked twenty yards when I came across Sampson, leaning against the wall of a small workshop in our street that had closed down many months before.

You and your mates think you’re so bloody clever, don’t you? Well, let me tell you that I’m going to have the last laugh. When I feel steadier, I am going to go home and I’m going to wake that useless slut of a wife of mine and I’m going to make her watch me beat those damn brats of hers and then I am going to make them watch me as I beat her and do her in, in front of them!”

He sneered; “and you aren’t going to be there to stop me, are you?”

He so was busy telling me what he intended to do that he didn’t see me aim the kick at his crotch. It connected so well that all he did as he collapsed to the pavement, was give a bleat of air. I kicked him -as hard as I could- in the head a few times with my hobnailed boots, as he lay there.

And then -I walked home, leaving him lying very still, on the pavement, bleeding from his head.

I didn’t know if he was alive or dead, but I hoped he was dead. Frankly, I didn’t care much either way. As I say, three years up to your knees in mud, filthy water and the blood of your mates does something to a man.

Of course, the snow had really put me on the spot. I was one of the few men in our street with a job and certainly the first person out of a morning.

How would it have looked to the police if the only footprints in the snow had been mine and I had ignored the body and not reported it to the police? -And I couldn’t risk not going into work by pretending to be off work sick, what with the number of people who were already on the parish or the box as we called it back then.

The police are not stupid. If I hadn’t have reported finding the body, they’d have soon realised that I had something to do with the murder. -and there was only one way for me to walk to work, which took me past where the body was.

And I would have ended up doing a dance at Winson Green nick. -Perhaps along with me muckers who really did have nothing to do with the killing.

So, I had to find a policeman and report finding a body that I had already had a shrewd idea was there, waiting for me to discover it, and no one else. As I said, I was one of the lucky ones with a job. I would be the only person walking down our street at that time of the morning, so I knew what I had to do.

The incident was a seven day wonder in the local papers. Someone even suggested that it was the Peaky Blinders back again, up to their tricks of old.

But I knew who it was.

I always did my level best to ensure those two kiddies had the best Christmas I could afford to give them.

I never really managed to decide if this was me being kind to them and making up for Sampson’s evil -I truly loved them as if they had been my own- or if it was my way of sticking two fingers up at Sampson on every anniversary of his death, every Christmas week.

Glossary of genuine Birmingham terms and words

Brummie: A citizen of Birmingham, England.

Brummagem: Original name of Birmingham

Collar: Work. Hard Collar, hard work

Miskin: Dustbin

Peaky Blinder: Birmingham street gang. Alleged to wear peaked caps with razor blades in the peak, which they would hit other gangs with, trying to blind them.

Livery Street: A very long street in Birmingham. "A face as long as Livery Street" said of anyone who looked depressed.

Albert: Fob watch on a chain

Nick: Prison (Winson Green Prison is otherwise known as HM Prison, Birmingham, was built in 1849 and is still in full vigour)

This story has been posted at the request of Alexis, who wanted me to publish another of my works of fiction. So, Alexis, here it is!

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Sorry, folks, but it IS going to be Christmas soon!

Next month, in fact. Sorry to rub it in.

I expect we Matt and Mrs Matt and the couple who are close friends of ours will visit the German Market and eat German foods and drink mulled wine and German beers. And there doubtless also be will be a trip to the nearest Wetherspoon pub for a meal and a pint of real ale for about £7.00 or so!

Then for Christmas we will probably have our traditional multi-faith Christmas dinner (atheist, Christian, pagan, Sikh) with fine wine, champagne, Indian tea (you have NOT drunk tea until you have drunk that, seriously!) lager (Carling, of course!) and Gran Stead's non-alcoholic ginger wine and lemonade and some real ale, too. Oh. And Coca Cola, both lite and full fat, too. There will also Sherry and Port for the mince pies and a good deal of other festive food will be eaten. Including Stilton, oh, YES! Stilton! And carbonated Vodka, from Sweden.

See? Non-Mormons do not have to drink alcohol. But Mormons do have to NOT drink alcohol.

Now, as a Mormon did I have a good Christmas? Now... that's an interesitng question. Sometimes, we did. But sometimes, I don't know, it somehow seemed that the LDS church brought misery and discord into our Christmases when there was no need for it.

I can recall Christmases before my parents became Mormons. My parents would drink Advocaat and some wine (Sherry, mainly, as wine was not that common in Birmingham in the 1950s/1960s!) my father would have a beer or two, but never three, and it was good.

So did I have good Christmases as a Mormon? Yes. But in all honesty, I have had better before and since.

To find out about lots of Christmas goodies you can visit
That's Christmas

Sunday, October 31, 2010

How Mormonism changes its core doctrines

I was watching a TV programme with my mother and (as an aside) the presenter pointed out that people from Asia had settled America having crossed the Baring Straights.

My mother then said: "Well that's interesting because the (Mormon) church teaches that Lehi and his family were from Asia, so that confirms what it teaches."

I made no comment.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A colleague dashed back into the office shouting: "Help! I'm been chased by the Moomins!"

She said: "I told them "'I don't believe in God' and ran off!" But they chased me! The one said he was sorry for me!" (Moomins! She has a very good sense of humour!)

They are a right pair of idiots.

Someone on the RFM board suggested reporting them. I considered that suggestion, but then I thought better of it. Because the best thing is to just let them keep on putting people off their ersatz multi-level marketing scam church!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Arghh! Those Mormon missionaries again!

Whilst walking through the part of town where I live, those TWO bloody Mormon missionaries approached me in the street, again!

I decided to take the initiative by greeting them with a cheery "good morning! and, in a very British way, commented on the weather.

They started on their "We would like to share our message..." spiel when I told him I was: "really seriously not interested." I got the: "Don't you believe in God?" line.

At this point I snapped back with: "Oh, God! Don't start THAT nonsense, again!" And ignored their fading wittering as I walked away from them.

Their attitude set me thinking. Is being rude a new Mormon missionary tactic? Do they hope that by shocking someone with such a rude remark that they can force the person concerned to listen to their message, be so 'overcome by the spirit' (tm) that they will immediately seek baptism and become a 'golden convert' (tm)? Is it a general new missionary tool?

If so, that's a stupid idea in Britain. Some stereotypes are valid, to a point. We British people do appear to be aloof and somewhat standoffish. It's just that some things are not done. Challenging people in the street regarding their religion is one of these things.

British people can be patient. But here's the thing. Eventually, we do snap. During the 100 Years War (1337 to 1453) it is said that, due to their propensity to let rip with choice invectives, the French dubbed their English enemies as les Goddamns.

If these Mormon missionaries do not stop abusing people in the streets, I think it likely that they will learn the lesson that the French learnt over 650 years ago.

They are worse than people selling Amway, Kleeneze or Bettaware! At least you can use THEIR products to clean your floor! You can't wipe the floor with a Mormon missionary! Oh... perhaps you can?!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Those missionaries, again

Yes, I met those two rude missionaries, again. I was about to go into the local hospital for a routine blood test (to check that the prescriptions meds I am aren't harming me) when the bicycling buffoons finished harassing some random pedestrian and decided to illegally cycle towards me and try to engage me in their: "If you don't let us bore the crap out of you with our message about Jesus Smith (thanks for that quote, Mr Hinckley!) we'll start berating you for being an atheist" line, I just said: "I'm late for an appointment and after the last time I spoke with you, I have nothing to add to it."

They must have then remembered who I was as they ceased following me and I can't recall even geting a faked: "Have a nice day!"

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Eco-facists and their latest video

I can't believe they could be THIS stupid. Oh, hang on, yes, I can believe they could be THIS stupid. And I speak as a former Green Party activist...

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Mormonism it's ALL about the money.

Why do I gain the impression that with Mormonism it is all about the money? Again, cleaners and caretakers at branches and wards are being sacked and replaced with members 'called' to be cleaners and caretakers.

And the UK sales centre is being closed and centralised in Continental Europe. That's like the US, Canada and Central America all being run from the same central location. It will almost certainly not work.

Yet on the other hand, we see shopping malls, luxury hotels, etc, etc, being built with money from the Mormon church!

What IS happening? What IS going on?

Is The Mormon church morphing into a multilevel marketing real estate concern that has less and less to do with the cult that Joseph Smith founded?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

RFM board is back online

The RFM bulletin board is back on line. www.exmormon.org

Matt meets the Mormons and gives 'em what for!

Yesterday, I had a good day. I had visited my doctor (yes, on a Saturday and for free) and gone to pay the gas and electricity bill (finally sorted out after a great deal of effort) I'd met my Managing Director and one of his children on the way back from Football practice (that's soccer, if anyone wonders) and I was almost at home having had a glorious walk in some surprisingly warm September sunshine when I was almost home when my heart sank. Oh, no! Mormon missionaries!

It was the overaggressive deadly duo I had had a run in with several weeks previously.

They have a very annoying way of approaching people on the street. They had just been told "no" by someone and switched their attention to a woman walking through a small park area at the side of the pavement (sidewalk). "Can we share our message with you?" said the more aggressive one. "No! Thank you" she said, firmly but politely.

"Oh!" He shouted at her, rudely. "So you don't believe in God?!"

I looked at his companion, who was heading towards me, a look of fervour in his eyes. "He's still very presumptive, isn't he?" I said.

Companion said: "Can we share a message with you about..." I cut him off by saying: No, thank you!"

He continued to drone on, giving me his sales script. I repeated myself. It made not a jot of difference. He went on and on.

At this point I lost my temper, somewhat. I said, very loudly: "I have said NO! I quite like the word no! It's short and to the point. It only has one syllable and two letters. N and O. I wonder which part of that rather short word you seem to have trouble grasping?"

At this point a man out walking his dog let out a snort of laughter.

The companion then said: "Well, if you are not interested in us sharing our message, perhaps you might know some people who would be interested in us sharing our message with them?"

I shouted: My God! It's like being assaulted by a religious salesman in the street! Please! Just go away! I am NOT interested!"

He then said: "Have a nice day!" To which I replied: "Yes, you have a nice day, too."

It was clear they were beyond reason and beyond debate or argument. My parents became Mormons in 1966. Throughout that time as a TBM and an exmo I have met many Mormon missionaries from all over the world from all types of backgrounds. I can honestly say I have never met a more dense and self-centred pair of plonkers as these.

Are they playing a game? Seeing how many people they can enrage?

Thursday, September 16, 2010

RFM Board should be back on line, soon!

Eric, Susan, CZ and several other people have been working very hard to try to put right the dreadful situation that was not of their making.

The board should be back up and running by the weekend.

Dee you there!

PS... Eric, isn't it time RFM had a Paypal account sorted out for donations? Just a thought!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Tabloid: The documentary of Joyce McKinney and Kirk Anderson

In the mid-1970s the UK was rocked by the sensational story of how Joyce McKinney, a very intelligent University graduate and beauty queen had come to Britain and kidnapped and had a Mormon missionary, Kirk Anderson, chained to a bed in a remote cottage and forced him to have sexual intercourse with her. She absconded and was tried in her absence and found guilty.

Famed US film maker Errol Morris has made a film about her. In this extract he talks about Joyce McKinney:-

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Kettle, meet kettle! Video of a kettle plus a moral message

I will show you a video of a very special kettle. When it was turned off, it shone with a blue light. When it was heating the water it had a very dramatic red light. When it had reached the boiling point, it turned itself off and reverted to the blue light.

My wife just pointed out that the kettle, although very pretty, only lasted for 12 weeks.

Isn't that like Mormonism? It looks shiny and special, yet pretty soon it fails and you find out that all is not well!

Thursday, September 09, 2010

RFM Board to be back on line soon

Sadly, when the ISP that has always looked after the RFM Board and website decided to upgrade their systems, they managed to 'break' the RFM Board.

There were severe problems that meant that RFM had no other option but to suspend the operation of the board until a new system could be put into operation.

This should happen either today or certainly by the weekend.

Visit www.exmormon.org to check out the board status.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

What has happened at the RFM Board?

Does anyone know what's happened over on the RFM Board?

It's still down after the Sunday break and it is now Tuesday evening.

I hope nothing serious is wrong.

If I can help (even though I am over here in the UK) please email me matt_exmo@yahoo.co.uk.

There have been problems with the board due to technical problems with the ISP. Perhaps they have jammed it in the 'off' position after the board was turned off for the regular monthly rest?

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Summer is over, Autumn is on the way

Summer is fading and Autumn is, indeed, on the way. The Canada Geese are preparing for their long migratory flight and soon the ponds and lakes of the British Isles will cease to reverberate to their melodious honking as they spend their winter on the other side of the Atlantic.

There is something mythical and magical about their skeins as they fly, honking to each other, to leave our shores until next Spring, when their honking voices will again signal to the inhabitants of the British Isles that Spring is, again, on its way!

Some people say that it is the Autumn for the Mormon Church, that it cannot last long before it falls into the winter of it's existence. I feel that this is wishful thinking. Mormonism will be here for many years to come.

However I believe that it is slowly changing what it is and that this process will take a great many years. Mormonism will, over time, become less of a religion and more of a corporate body. It is probably for this reason that the Mormon church is buying more land, building shopping malls, etc. Preparing for a time when the core of Mormonism shrinks to Utah and neighbouring States in the USA, and that eventually Mormonism will not be so much a religion but a corporate brand.

There will still be some members of the Mormon church, but they will be seen as virtually museum pieces. There will still be some branches and wards across the USA and in some other parts of the world but these will be seen as curiosities, a fleeting memory of a distant past. And about as relevant as the early sects of Mormonism that faded away when their founder/s died.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Why are Mormons so Mormon?

Mormons are, by and large, nice people. But get them into full Mormon mode and they seem to become crazy people!

I heard of a Mormon woman who had a weird dream about Amazon and her son growing up to look at pictures of women's underwear on the Amazon website, so she has blocked Amazon from her computer!

I mean, how bizarre and flaky is that?!

Who on earth would do something so mindbogglingly dense? Oh. Sorry, yes, I already answered that question. A Mormon would.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

My former Bishop: How I proved him to be a liar

My former Mormon Bishop was a liar. I already knew he was a bit strange, somewhat creepy and a flake, but I found out he was a liar, too. This was, I think, one of the later points that helped signpost me away from Mormonism.

I went to a party held by someone who was a recent exmo. I was still a practising Mormon at that time. It would have been about 1980 or 1981. A young member of the ward was there, too. She was 16 and had obviously being drinking alcohol before she arrived at the party. She was quite drunk. I was in my very early 20s. I was concerned about the state she was already in.

So I decided to personally deal with her drink 'orders' at the party. She asked for a rum and Coke. She got a coke with a negligible amount of rum. She wanted a Martini and lemonade. She got a Lemonade and did I remember to put in some Martini? Who can possibly say?! Someone at the party (a nevermo) asked me why I was giving her so much booze? When I explained what I was doing, she thought it an excellent plan and gave it her blessing. She expressed concern that Mormon teenagers were not taught how to drink responsibly. To which I agreed. (Much to my then surprise...)

About a week later I was called into the office of Bishop Gold. (Not his real name, but close enough, for real life!) He barked out: “Give me one good reason why I should not put you before a church court?”

I thought: “Well, probably because I haven’t done anything wrong, you idiot.”

I looked at him and said, coldly, “Well, Bishop Gold. Why don’t you start by telling me what is on your mind?”

He gave me a cock-and-bull story about how he knew I had gotten a young girl deliberately drunk and that he was not only considering a church court, but also considering reporting me to the police for encouraging underage drinking.

He said: “And I know this is true, because a non-member friend of mine told me that he had been invited to that party and how it had become an orgy!”

I knew this was untrue and that he had probably been given a very distorted version of the events at the party by a rather strange and disturbed Mormon woman who had fried their brains with illegal drugs several years before she became a Mormon.

I suddenly felt very angry at Bishop Gold. Normally I was known for being a quiet and “unassuming” person. Whilst I am usually a fairly placid person who is slow to anger, when I do get angry I do get angry. It was all I could do to restrain myself from really telling Bishop Gold what I (and most of the Ward, as it happens!) really thought of him.

I looked him straight in the eye and said: “Bishop, what I would like to know is, first of all, why you have chosen to lie to me, today? I am not pleased that you asked me to come to a meeting with you, and that you threaten me with a church court and then you lie to me.”

He went bright red. I though: “Bingo! Got you!”

He blustered for several seconds. He then said. “I didn’t lie to you! I… Well…”

I continued: “You did not have a friend from work go to that party.” (I knew all the people who attended, so that was a dumb story to use and was a totally unnecessary invention on his part.)

“In fact, I would guess that Sister Singer (not her real name) told you about the party, didn’t she?” (I could see by the way his jaw dropped that I had scored a direct hit, even though it was only a guess.)

“Did you know that Sister Singer was not at the party? So she obviously passed on to you a juicy snippet of gossip that she embellished and added on to!

“An orgy was it? Well, actually, no. The hostess and her boyfriend kissed, but then, as it was her birthday party, no surprise there. By the way, Bishop Gold, what is the legal age for drinking at a private party in Britain?”

He looked much happier now. Here was an answer he knew! Or thought he knew. “It is 18!” he said, with a sneer on his face. His sneering expression said: “Yes. You think you are clever, don’t you? You spotted I was making it up, you realised who had given me the information but I have got you on this one!”

“You are wrong, Bishop Gold. The drink laws in Britain are complicated. In Britain it is generally the case that the age for drinking alcohol in Britain in licensed premises is 18. Incidentally, if a child of 14 or older is eating a meal with his or her parents they are legally allowed to drink alcohol with their meal, either wine or cider.

"However, as for the legal age for drinking at a private party or in a private home in Britain? You might be surprised to learn that there isn’t one. It is perfectly legal for children to drink alcohol at home or at a private party they are at in someone else's home. You and I might disagree with the law, but that it is the law as it stands.” He went pale.

I then explained how I realised that she had arrived at the party when already drunk (probably with booze from Sister Singer, I suspected, but I didn't voice my suspicions to Bishop Gold) and that that I had given her 'pop' with enough alcohol to give it a smell and taste, but not enough to have an effect on her.

I had won. And he knew it. There was no Church Court. Our relationship thereafter was strained to put it mildly.

But this set me thinking. He had been all for setting up a church court for me (Oh, yes. Bishop Gold liked his church courts) but he had decided to base this on nothing but the gossip of a mentally ill member (she was jealous of the woman hosting the party) his own fatally flawed understanding of the British licensing laws as they stood in the late 1970s and early 1980s and he had chosen to deliberately lie to me. Doubtless he would have seen his lie as a subterfuge to break me and get me to confess. But it was a lie, never-the-less.

Prior to that I had known Bishop Gold as a blowhard, a flake, a martinet and a pompous, creepy, arsehole. I now knew him also as being a dangerously flawed individual who saw nothing wrong in lying to get his own way.

Yes, that was one of the baby steps that lead me away from the Mormon church to the truth. And I never thanked Bishop Gold for his help in that regard!

(The original of this post was created in 2006. This is a slightly different, modified version)

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Was Joseph Smith a martyr?

Was Joseph Smith a martyr? That's a very good question. If you speak to any faithful Mormon (or TBM as they are sometimes known) the answer will be: "Why, yes! Of course he was! He was martyred at Carthage Jail!"

A martyr is someone who is put to death for his faith. "Like a lamb to the slaughter" is one definition of the act of being a martyr. Or Martyrdom as it is also known.

Generally, a martyr just accepts their fate and dies for their religion. They do not fight back. Some of them even make jokes about their martyrdom, and or forgive those that are martyring them.

Did anything like that happen in the case of Joseph Smith? No. It did not. Because Joseph Smith fought back. He drew a pistol on the mob who were attacking him and his companions and either injured or killed some of them.

Now, that was his right. Every man and woman has a right to defend themselves against attack. Even if this necessitates killing the attacker in extreme cases. And, let's face it, being attacked by a mob baying for your life is an extreme case.

But for followers of the church Joseph Smith founded to claim that Joseph Smith was a martyr is just plain wrong. A victim of a murderous attack, yes, he was. But a martyr? No. To describe Joseph Smith as a martyr is stretching the definition of that word beyond breaking point.

Here is a link to some 'real' martyrs for comparison:-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_martyrs

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Another dull summer

We have had another pretty dull summer in Britain. Poor weather, cloudy and cool in August. Now, that's just not fair, is it?

When people on RFM mention that they are suffering from heat waves in the 30s, I can only point to the fact that one evening it was 12c, and the heating decided to kick in that night, as it was so cold! Oh, well. All the rain makes Britain a very green place to be. Though we do, actually, have a desert in England.
http://gertsamtkunstwerk.typepad.co.uk/photos/dungeness/desert.html
will take to a picture of said desert.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeness_%28headland%29


Rather like the Mormon church. A desert, least where one would expect it.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Top Mormon Guilty of 'Million Dollar Fraud'

R. Dean Udy, of Brigham City, pleaded guilty today to two felony criminal counts in regards to his solicitation of $1,313,500 from 5 investors.

Udy pleaded guilty to making false statements to the Division of Securities in connection with a 2002 investigation it was conducting and he pleaded guilty to securities fraud, for failing to tell later investors about his disciplinary history.

In the December of 2002. Udy was a licensed securities agent. He consented to the entry of a disciplinary order by the Division of Securities relating to promissory notes that he had sold to investors.

As part of that order, Udy claimed that he had disclosed all notes that he had issued. However, it transpired that this was far from the truth. In fact, a subsequent investigation by the Division proved that Udy had issued at least five promissory notes totalling $1314,500 which had been kept hidden from the Division.

In October of 2003, the Division took the decision to revoke Udy's license as a broker-dealer agent and barred him from the securities industry.

However, it transpired that Udy sold at least two additional promissory notes after his license had been revoked. On December 21 2005, the Utah Attorney General filed four felony counts against Udy for providing false information to the Division. This was for failing to disclose important information to investors, and for selling securities without having the necessary license.

A spokesman said: “The guilty pleas entered by Udy will be held in abeyance for 36 months. During that time, Udy is required to pay full restitution to those who gave him money to invest and provide accurate information to the State about those investors.

“If he makes full restitution and complies with the other terms of the plea agreement, the two felony counts will be reduced to Class A misdemeanours and the convictions will be entered on his record.”

Brother Udy was a prominent Mormon, having served on a Stake Presidency (similar to the Diocese in the Episcopalian or Church of England) and as Regional Representative (Ogden Utah, Riverdale Utah, Syracuse Utah, and Clearfield Utah regions) of the Presidency of the LDS/Mormon church, the largest of several sects of the original polygamous cult founded by Joseph Smith.

It has been claimed that Udy cheated investors, many of whom were friends and fellow Mormons.


Why I think you should blog.

Do you blog? If you don't, I think you should at least consider it. I use Blogger.com, but there are many other systems you can use like Wordpress. Some are free, some charge. Check them out, and see what would suit you the best.

Blogging can be very cathartic and can help you put your own thoughts in order. Many times I have written a post and then realised why I had reacted to something in the way I had done.

Obviously, you need to be careful what you put in. Too much Real Life Information (or In Real Life Information) can be a bad thing, if you do not want your family to know certain things. So, be careful what you post, under those circumstances.

The Recovery From Mormonism website has a list of blogs you can read. You can also have your blog listed there, too, if it is related to ex-Mormonism.

Just visit www.exmormon.org and follow the links to the Bulletin Board.

My Sunday as an ex-Mormon

I have just tended to the eye of our cat and then fed him some fresh chicken. I have just added Stat Counter to my blog, and will do some tweeking of it and perhaps some other websites I run, later.

My wife, due to three people calling in sick has had to go into work (she is a carer in a nursing home) and we may go out for dinner, later.

I could go to church (not the Mormon 'church', of course!) later, but probably will not. But the choice you, see is entirely mine. Nobody will love bomb me with false and syrupy "oh, we missed you soo much!"

I might visit an online church, or see if I can find The Time Team archaeology TV programme on view again on the Internet. But that's it, you see. My time, as an ex-Mormon is my own. No Home Teaching visits to people who have only ever attended one meeting of the Mormon church 30 years ago, before they realised that they had made a ghastly mistake and that the meat they had after the milk was rancid and had gone off big time.

No attending PEC meetings and discovering that the Bishop is a damned liar, the High Priest Group leader a vicious and waspish fool and that the Relief Society president is a gossipy, delusional shrew. I was the ward executive secretary and discovered the hard way that attempting to influence the meetings let alone control them (they never would stick to the agenda. Apparently the real role of the PEC meetings was to gossip about people who were not there, score points of other people (all the better if they were not there!) and generally behave like a bunch of "crazy fools." (Thank you, Mr T.)

Eventually my behaviour as Ward Executive Secretary (I kept insisting that the Bishop, a weird and somewhat creepy individual who I had a subsequent run-in with, and upset him further by winning and proving him, again, to be a liar) actually at least tried to operate in accordance with the rules of the Mormon church!) meant that I was removed from the calling. The next Executive Secretary made exactly the same mistake and he lasted even less than I did. The Bishop kept casting around for more pliable priesthood holders until, summarily, he was made not Bishop any more.

I think I posted about the run-in I had with the Bishop a while ago. I'll see if I can dig it out and do another piece on it. It did come as a shock when I realised that the man I was supposed to look up to was nothing but a rather dirty liar, but that's another story!

But as for now? I'll enjoy my Sunday, thank you very much!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Eye drops for a kitty

Today, my wife is at work and I am on Saturday duty to ensure our little Persian cat gets his eyedrops every two hours after his eye surgery.

He doesn't like the collar he wears and he is starting to hate me, as I am his designated eyedrop giver.

He will have another post-operative check-up on Monday. Then if that goes well, more eyedrops, then a follow-up operation to remove some stitches, I think.

He is looking really miserable. I hope it works and that it saves the sight in his eye. Poor little mite!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Ex-Mormon websites

If you have any other websites that you feel need to be added to this list, please email me at matt_exmo@yahoo.co.uk

Some of these websites are atheist, some Christian, others have no bias, one way or the other.

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/

http://www.josephs-myth.com

http://www.mormoninformation.com

http://www.integrity.com/homes/exmormon

www.exmormonfoundation.org/

http://www.exmormon.org/

http://www.cephasministry.com/gail_former_mormon.html

http://www.lifeafter.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exmormon

http://www.exmormonforums.com/

http://www.exchristian.net/testimonies/2006/03/active-mormon-to-exmormon-gay-atheist.html

http://www.port7.co.uk/exmouk/ (UK exmo board)

http://www.salamandersociety.com/

http://www.cephasministry.com/ex_mormon_official_testimony.html

http://www.lifeafter.org/testimonies.asp

http://www.jasperridge.com/weblog/archivedBlogs/2002_09_15_archive.htm

http://www.exchristian.net/testimonies/2003/10/ex-mormons-tale.php

http://www.contra-mundum.org/essays/kettler/jk_morman.pdf

http://diatribedamsel.blogster.com/am_ex-mormon.html

http://www.infidels.org/electronic/email/other.shtml#exmormon

http://www.cafepress.com/celestial_store/ (“Mormon” beer labels!)

http://enc.slider.com/Enc/Exmormon

http://www.rickross.com/reference/mormon/mormon109.html

http://www.mormoncurtain.com/

http://www.truthandgrace.com/Mormon.htm

http://mormondiscussions.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?p=896&sid=57575a695f739140c0114539ad95a3b7

http://www.towertotruth.net/Audiofiles/sandra_tanner.m3u

http://www.factnet.org/cults/Mormon/exmormon_org_Sitemap.html

http://exmormonfoyer.blogspot.com/

http://www.godandscience.org/cults/mormtest.html

http://mormontruth.blogspot.com/2005/10/my-very-first-mormon-general.html

http://www.religionnewsblog.com/html/3604-_Web_sites_provide_confidential_community_for_former_and_wavering_Mormons.html

http://www.mormonismi.info/jamesdavid/mormlink.htm

http://www.utlm.org/

http://www.irr.org/mit/

http://www.lds-mormon.com/bomquest.shtml

http://www.lds-mormon.com/veilworker/endowment.shtml

http://frank.kirkman.com/

www.exmo-social.com

http://www.myspace.com/tbonefromrfm

http://scottishbrain.blogspot.com/

http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/

http://www.hismin.com/FormerMormon.htm

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewarticle.asp?id=8961

http://www.whatismormonism.com/

http://home.teleport.com/~packham

http://www.2think.org/hii/aftermo.shtml

http://www.reachouttrust.org/articles/testimony/ldsjanet.htm

http://www.mrm.org/multimedia/text/leaving-mormonism.html

http://www.hiddenmysteries.org/religion/lds/ldsnoheaven.shtml

http://www.watchman.org/expo/15_1news.htm

http://www.xanga.com/groups/group.aspx?id=561027

http://www.mmmo.org/leaving.htm

http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_lds.htm

www.exmormon.org

www.frontiernet.net/~bcmmin

http://nowscape.com/atheism/hanks_ass.htm (Not exactly ex-mo, but good fun)

http://nowscape.com/mormons1.htm (Shows how "different" Mormonism is...)

www.xmission.com/~country/reason/reason.htm

www.mormonconspiracy.com

www.realmormonhistory.com

http://www.mormonsinshock.com/

http://www.refutingmormonism.com/

http://www.bible-truth.org/Ldspage.htm

http://www.leavingthesaints.com/mail.html

http://www.rickross.com/groups/mormon.html

www.affirmation.org/news/1999_41.shtml

http://www.mormonnomore.com/

http://www.zaksite.co.uk/atozelph/

http://home.comcast.net/~zarahemla/foyer.html

http://www.aimoo.com/forum/categories.cfm?id=418550&CategoryID=121363&zb=302868

http://mormontruthpodcast.blogspot.com

http://livingtruthpodcast.blogspot.com

http://mormondeception.blogspot.com

www.josephlied.com

www.bookofabraham.com

http://mazeministry.com/

http://trialsofascension.net/mormon.html

www.postmormon.org

http://www.lhvm.org/index.htm

http://www.helpingmormons.org/

http://www.bookofzelph.com/

http://mormon2catholic.blogspot.com

http://mormonscripturestudies.com/bomor/twm/lamgen.asp

http://www.truthandgrace.com/Racism.html

http://www.mormonstudies.com

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/BOM/index.htm

http://www.mrm.org/

http://www.newordermormon.org/

http://sideon.blogspot.com

http://www.gospelhelp.com/mme.html (Melissa's Mormon Experience)

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/BOM/index.htm

http://www.zondervan.com/cultures/en-us/Product/ProductDetail.htm?QueryStringSite=ZCS&ISBN=0310231949 (A link to buy an anti-Mormon book by Christian scholars, should you really want to buy it!)

http://www.moonmac.com/Mormon_masturbation.html (Fun on the net!)

http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/mormon/

http://www.afcministry.com/If_you_are_a_Mormon_or_Ex_Mormon_looking_for_help.htm

http://wesclark.com/ubn/ (The Utah Baby Name website. If this doesn't put you off, what would?)

http://leavingtsccbehind.blogspot.com/

http://darqueheart.blogspot.com/

www.thechurchisNOTtrue.com

http://tomanyquestions.blogspot.com/

http://www.mazeministry.com/mormonism/holley/holleymaps.htm

http://sistermarylisa.blogspot.com

http://kitakazoo.blogspot.com

http://nut-job-jen.blogspot.com/

http://www.exmormonconnect.com


www.latayne.com

www.exmohomo.com

This is a re-post of the list. If there are any amendments to be made, please email me at matt_exmo@yahoo.co.uk. Thank you.

What was the worst thing your parents ever did?

To my mind, the worst thing my parents ever did was to join the Mormon church or cult if you will.

This has caused misery and heartache down the years. It also put up barriers between our side of the family and other people in the extended family, where it is certain that none existed before.

My mother cannot understand this. I could tell her why, but then that would only feed her "Oh, we are being persecuted for our faith" paranoia. And I really do not think that would help at all.

But why should people associate with Mormons? The problem with Mormons is that they have an extremely limited range of conversational topics. It goes something like this:-

1) Mormonism
2) Joseph Smith
3) The Temple
4) General Conference
5) Mormonism
6) Joseph Smith
7) The Temple
8) General Conference
9) And so on....

People get bored, especially when they realise that Mormonism is nonsense. For an ordinary person to fall amongst Mormons must be like when an ordinary person finds themselves accidental enmeshed in a convention of War Game enthusiasts. I mean, you can see why people would be interested in the fantasies created by a master story teller, but you might not be interested in it yourself. But as for war gaming? That's an entirely different kettle of fish!

Saturday, August 07, 2010

New Feature on Notamormon. Not a Mormon TV

The Notamormon blog now features Not a Mormon TV. This is a link to Youtube Videos that are tagged with ex-Mormon.

These video programmes are not endorsed by Notamormon, they are only featured for your interest, enlightenment (!) and entertainment.

Please scroll down to the bottom of the page to visit this TV channel. Also, don't forget the Notamormon news channel which is also at the bottom of the Notamormon blog.

Here is Timothy's award for services to ex-Mormonism

Bothered by Mormons or other religious callers? Stop them


with this handy, printable notice

Saturday, July 31, 2010

An award is to be granted to Timothy of the RFM Board

Why? for services to the Exmo Community.

Every Friday Timothy starts a thread: "The Obligatory Friday Thread: What are YOU drinking tonight?"

Whilst some people may dismiss these threads as being unimportant, I would argue that, on the contrary, they are amongst some of the most vital and important threads on the board.

Why? Please allow me to tell you:

Some ex-Mormons know nothing about alcohol. Which means they know nothing about safe drinking. People can read through the thread and see what other ex-Mormons are drinking. Or they can ask for advice and help on what drinks to choose. Sometimes people have posted for help on what drinks to buy for other people. One example was someone who needed to know the right wines to buy for a meal that he had invited his boss to. He got the advice he needed, so the meal went well.

The thread also provides a strong degree of social cohesion for we denizens of the Recovery From Mormonism website. What do I mean by this? No matter where you are, if you live with Mormons or if you don't, if you live by yourself in the heart of Modom, or if you are a lone exmo thousands of miles from Utah, you know that ever Friday ex-Mormons will be posting there about what they plan to drink (and in some cases, eat) on Friday evening and, during the evening itself, what they actually ARE eating and drinking!

So if you are part of a couple, or a single ex-Mormon, perhaps the sole exmo in your immediate family (that you know of!) whatever kind of exmo you are, you can know that you are raising a glass with your fellow exmos, no matter who they are or where they are.

As a result, I feel that it is apropriate to present Timothy with a very special Not a Mormon award. This will be done within the next several days. Please keep an eye out for further developments.

Do you have problems with Mormons who keep calling?


If so, here is a sticker that you can reproduce and place it at your business or your home:-

Friday, July 02, 2010

Mormons and criticism

Many Mormons do not like to hear or read criticism of their church. They believe they have a God-given right to correct what they see as misinformation about the Mormon church.

If we are to believe Mormons there was never any blood oaths in the Mormon Temple ceremony, Joseph Smith only had one wife (and if he did have more than one wife, including women already married to other men and young, nubile girls under the age of 16, it did not matter as they were only ever 'spiritual' wives) and Mountain Meadows was only an attack by Indians on a wagon train of people passing through the territory. And in any case, it did not matter, as did you know that some of those people on that wagon train were actually part of the mob that martyred Joseph Smith?

And did you know that neither Joseph Smith or Brigham Young ever ordered a group of men called the Danites (which didn't exist, anyway) to murder people? And even if Joseph Smith and Brigham Young HAD ordered the non-existent group to murder people, it would not have mattered as they would almost certainly have deserved it, and blood atonement was never preached or practised.

When Mormons tell or pass on these lies, do they know they are lying? OR do they really believe what they are saying? I remember one former Mormon mentioning the blood oaths in the temple ceremony to someone who had gone through the temple at roughly the same time as them. They were shocked when the practising Mormon denied there had ever been blood oaths as part of the temple ceremony, and challenged the former Mormon asking them why they would make up such a story? It was, they reported, as if part of the memory of the practising Mormon had been surgically removed. Unless, of course, the Mormon was just a liar? Which tends to indicate that some Mormons do "Lie for the Lord."

Saturday, June 19, 2010

How our Mormon families see us

OK, let’s see… Your brothers and sisters never see you, they do not like their children being alone with you and your parents think that you are one of Satan’s minions.

What are you? A murderer? Child molester? A rapist? A convicted fraudster? No. Just a former Mormon.

When my brother found out that I was chatting with to my nephew at a family (nevermo) party whilst I was drinking a can of lager, he could not wait to run over to us at the party (knocking an elderly nevermo relation out of the way in his indecent haste. Way to go, bruv!)

Apparently he thought I was an evil influence on my nephew and would try to lead him down the pathway to Hell.

The truth was that within minutes of talking with my nephew, I had found out more about my nephew than his (sadly) rather stupid father (my brother) had in his life.

I had found out that he had been binge drinking with a mate several times and I was actually advising him to take it easy with alcohol. To avoid spirits and not to drink stuff just for the sake of drinking it. Not that my brother would believe that. But that’s HIS problem!

But of course, as I am a filthy, degenerate apostate ™ © then I can have no good intentions and no noble objectives. Of course not. Because, of course, only Mormons know The Truth ™! The Truth? Sadly most Mormons would not know the truth if it bit them on the arse...

But we sometimes feel guilty when we do something non-Mormon like drink coffee or have a glass of beer with our meal.

But this is NOT our fault, nor is it our problem.

They are, after all, the ones who are following the example of a rapist and child molester and convicted fraudster, not us...

(Edited update of a previous post)

Monday, June 07, 2010

Is your website a Slurl?

Would you book a holiday through oldmanshaven.com? Or visit ipwine.com for a bottle of wine? And would you download music from mp3shits.com?

Much more than a list of funny names, Slurls is a new book that takes the reader on a global journey from small-town America to the tea rooms of Britain, with surreal stopovers, to look at the special charms of technology and big business.

Andy Geldman discovered the joy of awful URLs in 2006. Realising he had found his true calling, he coined the word "slurl" - a badly named URL, innocently chosen by genuine businesses. Andy set up a website and devoted all his spare time to hunting down more gems. The website went on to draw thousands of visitors from around the world, bringing in over 75,000 in 2009.

Andy says: "With over a hundred million websites already registered it's extremely unlikely that a business will get their first choice of address. In fact, they'll be lucky to get their second, third or even hundredth choice. There have always been unintentionally funny names, but the internet takes it to a whole new level. It's all because you can't have a space in your URL. A business called IT Scrap is fine in the real world but not so great online with itscrap.com!"

This fascinating and humorous collection includes over 100 websites plus relevant facts, observations and Internet trivia. Chapters cover America, Britain, and the rest of the English-speaking world, business and technology, websites that sound pornographic but aren’t, hoaxes, and other website names that aren’t quite true slurls.

Andy Geldman is a self-employed computer programmer and took a break from his day job to write his first book. When not collecting slurls, Andy uses his personal blog Who Ate All The Cookies? to seek out and celebrate all that is ridiculous in the world of technology. He lives in London.




Monday, May 24, 2010

Do you play mind games with your partner?

Do you ever play mind games with your partner?

Of course you don't! Well, you don't, do you?

Perhaps you do...

Do you always have to be in the right?

Do you ever start an argument with your partner, without there really being a valid reason?

Do you expect a higher standard of behaviour from your partner than you do of yourself?

Do you ever lie to your partner about silly, trivial things you needn't have lied about?

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Can You Turn a Gay Straight?

Dr. Jallen Rix has first hand experience of the type of prayer sessions Tory star Philippa Stroud is reported to have ran to 'cure' gay people at her King's Arms Project in Bedford.

Jallen Rix has an extraordinary story to tell. It’s a story of religious abuse that almost destroyed his deep spiritual convictions and his life. In his book Ex-Gay NO WAY: Survival and Recovery from Religious Abuse Jallen reveals how he endured extreme religious abuse while a part of an ex-gay ministry, which was designed to turn him from a gay man to a straight one. It is also a story of his incredible determination to live in the truth of his sexuality and with his spirituality up front and centre.

Bringing to light an extreme fundamentalist Christian view, this insider’s perspective offers hope to people grappling with the after-effects of a cult-like movement often known as "Reparative Therapy." The movement assumes that going from gay to straight is easily changeable and change-worthy, despite decades of psycho/sexual research to the contrary.

“The Ex-Gay Movement is stripped naked, and through an abundance of snapshots we get to see its vulnerability and cover-ups. These perspectives are mounted together with Jallen’s moving story telling and in-depth research. The naming of religious abuse, the dispelling of sex-phobic myths, the raw motion of personal experience make this a great resource for pastors and counsellors; yet possibly the greatest accomplishment of this book is that it brings the reader to a conclusion — a motive and means for recovery without feeling forced to accept or abandon.”

— Paul Whiting, International advocate, author and pastor.

Ex-Gay NO WAY part dramatic memoir, part compassionate manual, deals with homosexuality and Christianity and, in particular, ‘Reparative Therapy’. In it Rix describes being utterly stripped of every shred of his spirituality through this experience and reveals how he ultimately reclaimed a new unconditional relationship to God.

“Dr Rix has exposed reparative therapy in a way never seen before. He clearly compares the features of the ex-gay movement with the damaging and cultic aspects of hyper-religiosity. The similarities are so numerous that, at times, there simply is no difference between the two.”

— Thomas Erwin Gertz Ed.D., DACS, Professor of Sexology, Dean of Students, Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, San Francisco, California.

Rix, who was raised a Southern Baptist, understands completely the negative effects of a closeted life and the difficulties associated with reconciling his deep Christian beliefs with his homosexuality. He went to great lengths attempting to change from gay to straight consequently enduring the rigors of ‘Reparative Therapy’ as prescribed by ex-gay ministries.

"The very existence of Change of Orientation programmes perpetuates the idea that homosexuality is bad, and this is one of the reasons I've been against these programmes being available. They send the message to people that 'This is change-worthy, and we strongly urge this to be changed and if you were a good person you would want it changed."
— Dr. Gerald Davison, Professor of Psychology, University of Southern California

Many gay men and women have contemplated or committed suicide as a result of ‘reparative therapy.’ In Ex-Gay NO WAY, Rix makes a passionate case for ending the phenomenon known as ‘religious abuse’ and describes his attempts to reclaim his wholeness through self-affirming therapy, education, healthy sexuality and guided internal exploration.

“We did employ a lot of techniques that, looking back on it now I realise, were brainwashing techniques. Don’t associate with anybody who disagrees with you. Don’t read any non-Christian books. Don’t go anyplace where non-Christians are hanging out. Certainly don’t ever read anything that’s pro-gay. If there’s a show that presents gays in a favourable light turn it off.”

— Michael Bussee, A Founder of Exodus International and Ex-gay Survivor.

In Ex-Gay NO WAY Jallen Rix makes a heartfelt plea for the abolition of ‘religious abuse’ and the right for every gay person to live the Christian life they choose.

Book Info:

Ex-Gay No Way: Survival and Recovery from Religious Abuse

by Jallen Rix £10.99, Findhorn Press. ISBN 978-1-84409-187-4.

FACT FILE:

Jallen Rix, EdD, is a speaker, author, and educator on sexology. He writes a column called "Sex Ed in Bed," is a regular columnist for gay.com, and has appeared on TV talk shows such as ABC's 20/20. He lives in San Francisco.


Sunday, March 07, 2010

MLMs and Mormons

Someone asked the following question on the RFM Board (www.exmormon.org) recently:

“Is it me, or are Mormons attracted to MLMs (multi-level marketing) like moth to flame?”

My reply was: Yes, Why? Because they need to generate extra income. Tithe, told to have large families. They need extra income. But with all their callings, temple visits, etc., they have no time.

So when they are offered an MLM opportunity ("create your own tri-spatial uplining downline in only ten minutes!!") they fall upon it like a thirsty man in the desert when he sees water. Only it's almost always a mirage.

I have written on this subject at greater length. Here is that post:-

Why DO so many Mormons enter MLM schemes?

Why do so many Mormons get into MLM schemes or other direct selling schemes and try to sell Amway, Noni Juice, Nu Skin, Mary Kay, Nature’s Sunshine Products, Herbalife, Nutra-Smart, XanGo, Living Scriptures, 4Life Research, NSA, Pharmanex, Quixtar, Shaklee, Kirby, Unicity International, USANA Health Sciences, Inc., and Old Mother Jones’ Baked Goods by Mail? (OK, although it sounds like a good idea, I just made that last one up!)

Now, some ex-Mormons say that this is because Mormons are stupid. This must mean that either they, the ex-Mormon, is also stupid, or somehow when they became an ex-Mormon miraculously became non-stupid and magically intelligent.

However, as most ex-Mormons do not believe in miracles or magic (they drag out that lovely little hobby horse, the Invisible Pink Unicorn) then we must look for another explanation as to why so many Mormons get involved with MLM schemes and scams. The answer is so simple that I am surprised the “Mormons are stupid/gullible” theory has held sway for so long.

The real answer is, I believe, because the Mormon church, in relative terms, keeps its membership ‘dirt poor.’

Every faithful (and some less-than-faithful) Mormon pays 10% of their income to the Mormon Church in a tithe. Now, in strictly Biblical terms, the Mormon tithe is not “legal”. This is because it tithes income before tax; Federal, State, Income Tax, Sales Tax, VAT and Council Tax in the UK, so it tithes gross income and not net/increase as a genuine tithe would.

Therefore the situations for Mormons is worse than it would at first appear to be. Depending on local taxation regimens, the real cost of a Mormon tithe could be anything up to 25 to 50%. And this does not take into account mission fund, fast offering, etc., which takes an even larger chunk of money out of the typical Mormon family budget.

So in comparison to their non-Mormon neighbours (even those of other Christian denominations who might pay a tithe based on increase, rather than gross income) many Mormons are “dirt poor.”

So in order to live any kind of meaningful life and to not have to rely on food stamps, social security handouts or Mormon church welfare, an extra source of income is required.

What about a second job? An attractive idea, true. But as for the practicalities of a Mormon getting a second job? As Austin Powers would say: “Oh, behave!” Most faithful Mormons spend almost all of their free time in meetings, or even in meetings about meetings. Not to mention, home/visiting teaching, missionary splits, etc., etc. They would not have time for an extra job.

So what to do to ensure their children have some luxuries in their life, such as food to eat, a roof over their heads, and so forth? Try MLM. You can run it in your spare time. (What spare time?!) and even if you do not have spare time, you can try to have a whispered conversation in the hall in between three hour block meetings with Brother Zee or Sister Wye, about how you are SURE that Wonder Cure Mineral Drink will just change their lives forever! (And all for only two cans a week, at $14.00 per can.

Do they make any money? The answer varies from not much to zero. So not only do they not get out from the Mormon Church poverty trap they end up even more miserable and depressed. And then what happens? More Prozac, anyone?

So, next time someone says to you that Mormons are stupid for getting into MLMs, ask them where they parked either their Bible or their Invisible Pink Unicorn? Ask them when (or if!) THEY stopped being stupid. Or point out that Mormons are not necessarily stupid, but are kept in the Mormon poverty trap. After all, a poor person is often more pliable than a wealthy one.

I also covered it here

Scams, schemes and dreams

Utah, or so we are told, is the World Capital City of scams, schemes and dreams.

As I have asked before, WHY do so many Mormons get into MLM schemes or other direct selling schemes and try to sell Amway, Noni Juice, Nu Skin, Mary Kay, Nature’s Sunshine Products, Herbalife, Nutra-Smart, XanGo, Living Scriptures, 4Life Research, NSA, Pharmanex, Quixtar, Shaklee, Kirby, Unicity International, USANA Health Sciences, Inc., and the like?

Well, I blame the grandpappy of all Mormon propaganda films, Meet the Mormons. You have to be of a certain age to have seen this film, originally made for the World's Fair in 1960 something, because some utter arse allowed the Mormons to have a special Mormon Pavilion there.

The film was shown to all new 'prospects' (a term borrowed directly from the insurance sales industry, which shows just exactly HOW the Mormon church feels about people) and I would guess that it was a major factor in tricking my parents into joining.

"Do you want to be in Heaven with your family?" What kind of pondscum would say no to that question? You'd have to be an idiot NOT to agree with that, right? Right. And that's how they scammed people.

I was hoping to find it on Google or Youtube, but it is not there. Yet. Here is a link to a copy of the book that went with the film, on sale http://www.elephantbooks.com/item_list.asp?category=Religion+and+Inspiration%3AMormonism&major_id=72

The film helped prime people to be gullible. It helped to ensure that the Mormons grew up as ideal victims of scams, schemes and dreams. Ideal for plucking by fellow Mormons as desperate as themselves, or by fellow Mormons who were cynical and who were looking for other Mormons who they could fleece and rip-off.

Could YOU take the last $10 or £10 from a needy family with pie in the sky dreams of a multi-level marketing structure that was "just so right for them and their young, hungry family?"

Children who were not thriving because you can't thrive on TVP and other such crud? (Yes, we had to eat TVP. It was vile and tasted awful. Still, it was OK, because my mom and dad paid tithing and fast offering.)

As a side point, we once had a Bishop who questioned the modest amount of our fast offering. My mother showed the SOB exactly how much money we had to spend on food, after we took 10% out of my father's meager wage. He was shocked by what we had to live on. Not shocked enough to offer us help you understand! But then that wasn't the Mormon way in Britain.


Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Why are some ex-Mormons so... Mormon?

Some ex-Mormons are so Mormon!

What do I mean by that?

Not so long ago on the Ex-Mormon bulletin board, there was Timothy's regular: "What are you drinking tonight?" threads.

Someone complained about it saying: "I think that you will find that 'in the real world' people never talk about what they will be drinking on a Friday evening!"

I had to wade in to this debate. It was clear that the person who made that comment hadn't got one clue about the real world! In my workplace in the UK what alcoholic beverages are going to be consumed that evening and the rest of the weekend are a major topic of conversation on Fridays. And on Monday there is often a conversation about the actuality of what as drunk!

And someone disliked my blog and the book that I based on it because: "I used bad language."

In truth my language was mild compared to me in the flesh, so I still haven't a clue what he meant.

The problem that the ex-Mormons who made the above statement have, but doesn't realise is that they still view the world through Mormon-tinted glasses.

They do not believe in the teachings of Joseph Smith but for some reason they still act like Mormons, pompous arrogant and very condescending.

Why? Because they will have to learn how to behave like normal people in the real world.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Why do they do it?

Why do Mormons think that ex-Mormons want to debate spurious points with them? I had my fill of debating spurious points with rabid Mormons when I was a Mormon!

For example, Mormons who are eager for the re-introduction of polygamy. Almost salivating at the prospect of having multiple wives. And this was in Britain, remember. Not in Utah with the various Mormon fundamentalist camps and compounds where polygamy is a sort of open secret. Or open sore, as some might see it. I saw the look on the faces of their poor wives. Not nice.

The problem that many Mormons have with ex-Mormons is that they do not believe anything that we say. They either pretend that we were never really Mormons, or, if we can provide them with proof that we were once Mormons like them (why should we have to?) they deny that we ever really had a testimony that Mormonism was the one true faith. Or that we were too weak to remain as Mormons, or wanted to sin or were offended by someone and left in a huff. Or were tricked by Satan.

If we provide them with hard evidence of why we conclude that Mormonism is not true, they call us liars and say that only faith promoting Mormon sources are 'true' and 'reliable'.

Thus they deny that -for example- the fact that the so-called Reformed Egyptian was, in reality, Ogham, a type of Latin shorthand is important, because feelings trump facts. Always.

If you say that blue is blue, they will deny it and say that you have no proof to back up your outrageous claim. Why would it be an outrageous claim? Because YOU made it! And as you are an ex-Mormon, then you MUST be wrong! QED!

It is a simple way of thinking that requires no thought.

As I have covered all variations of how Mormons think that ex-Mormons are always in the wrong, I do not feel inclined to accept any "You are wrong!" comments on this post from any Mormons. Hey. It's my blog. I can set the rules and if I do not want to enter into a pointless debate with people who automatically presume that I am wrong, then that's the way it is.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Mormon temple marriage policy under scrutiny

Hundreds of people are coming together from various countries and religious persuasions, to voice their objections to the leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at its headquarters in Salt Lake City, Utah regarding its divisive temple wedding policy in North America -and increasingly in other countries. Online discussion and debate on Mormon blogs have been ignited by a petition at the website www.templeweddingpetition.org where people may print off and sign an actual hard copy petition requesting Church leaders to seriously consider the damage to the church and individuals; hoping for a sign of compassion towards all those who are, have been and may still be affected.

The temple wedding policy creating such a storm, penalises LDS couples who choose a civil marriage outside of LDS temples with a mandatory one-year waiting period before they can attend the temple for the uniquely LDS temple sealing. Combining a marriage ceremony ‘until death do us part’ with the temple ‘sealing for eternity’ means that it must take place within the confines of an LDS temple to which anyone other than an adult, worthy, temple endowed Mormon is excluded.

Petition spokesperson Jean Bodie says petition participants are stating that the policy is not doctrinal because LDS couples are not penalized in other parts of the world where civil marriage is required by law. According to Bodie, personal accounts posted to the website tell how the policy results in pain and disharmony in family relationships, often resulting in anger toward the LDS Church. “For a worldwide Church that believes families are eternal, its exclusionary policy can and often does create a painful chasm, between family loyalty and obedience to an arbitrary policy, says Bodie.

Organisers anticipate that the leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints wishes to promote love and harmony in the family. Bodie says they simply want the Church to waive the punitive, one-year waiting period; giving back to LDS couples the right to choose a civil marriage ceremony first, if they so desire, without any repercussions or judgment on their character.

For further details please visit www.templeweddingpetition.org

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

An interesting question: Were the first Mormons idiots?

Rubicon posed this very interesting question over at RFM.

Here are my thoughts on why so many people came from England, Wales, Scotland and Scandinavia:-

Look at it from their point of view. Many of them were craftsmen. But they were not always paid what they were due. In Britain they lived in small, damp and cold terraced houses, often very close to the factory where they worked. If the womenfolk put the washing out on a washing line strung up in the back yard or over the alley at the back of the houses, the pollution would make it dirtier than before it was washed.

They were fed stories of the rolling pastures of Utah, how you could have as much land as you wanted, how the weather was nice and the air was pure. And would make your child with the chest condition breathe good, wholesome, clean air for the first time in its miserable life.

It is surprising that more did not accompany them.

And when they found out the awful, terrible truth?

Why, there was Sister Snitch and Bother Tittle-Tattle ready to carry tales back and then there was Brother Danite ready to make sure they toed the line!

Well, you wouldn't want to just vanish like that Scandinavian troublemaker who left a wife and three children to starve under the malevolent eye of Brother Brigham, prophet, seer and revelator, would you?

And as luck would have it, Brother Brigham had a close confidant of his marry the beautiful blond woman for himself. Joining his 12 other bitter, resentful older wives.

What's that? She's... You don't think she is officially a widow? Well, hush! If the Lord's anointed has ordained the wedding, then please say it must be so! Don't question it, for pities sake! Least you want to take the walk into the night with the Danite Brethren!

They were not idiots. The were given the hard sell and then were too terrified to be able to do anything about it.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Mormonism: How stupid do they think people are?

The answer is they hope people are very stupid indeed.

Everyone who uses multilevel marketing techniques to sell either a product or a way of life must really hate the Internet.

For out there on the internet you will find sites both for and against (for example): Amway, Noni Juice, Nu Skin, Mary Kay, Nature’s Sunshine Products, Herbalife, Nutra-Smart, XanGo, Living Scriptures, 4Life Research, NSA, Pharmanex, Quixtar, Shaklee, Covey, Kirby, Unicity International, USANA Health Sciences, Inc., Mormonism, etc., etc.

Some of the sites are purely bonkers with criticism that is unfair or based on a misunderstanding with someone. Others. however, have very valid and genuine criticism of the firm or organisation concerned.

The Mormon Church, however, is one of the few that actually warn people not toseek out critical information on it! To many people, this is the red rag to the bull. "If you don't want me to find out some information, then there's a reason why." And people use the Internet and discover websites like this one, or Recovery From Mormonism and the like.

Prospects (yes, Mormonism uses American Insurance sales terms for people thinking about joining their church) can see how many women (married and single) Joseph Smith had as 'wives' what the Danites were, which modern LDS leaders thought it better that a young lady allow herself to be murdered rather than raped and other such gems of LDS wisdom.

Many decline to join such a church. Or, if they do, keep their wits about them and bale out as soon as the nutty ways of Mormonism become all too apparent.

And that is why the Mormon Church doesn't want you on the Internet, researching all about the Mormon Church. No salesman wants to lose a prospect, do they?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Exmo Challenge. Make your own exmo TV advert!

MJ over at RFM inspired me.

The challenge is this:-

Make an exmo TV advert. It can be up to 2 minutes in length and should put a humorous take on the exmo experience and how much better life is as an exmo.

Publish it on your Youtube Channel and send me the link (matt underscore exmo at yahoo.co.uk) and I'll publish them here on Notamormon.

Let's say until the end of November.

There are no prizes, but it should be fun.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Atheist Summer Camp for UK kids?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/jul/29/atheist-summer-camp-somerset

“The idea behind the camp is to give a "godless" alternative to traditional religious summer camps”

Actually, this is a strange idea. As ANY summer camps in Britain (religious or otherwise) are very, very rare indeed.

Still, it is an interesting idea.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Weird Mormon stories

http://taiwanjournal.nat.gov.tw/ct.asp?xItem=54220&ctNode=413

“Mormon proprietor tastes alcohol without swallowing”

(EDITOR: Just stop serving booze!)

http://www.sltrib.com/themix/ci_12754408

“LDS Leaders strive to help foreign members feel comfortable in a historically America-centric religion”

(EDITOR: Stop pretending everywhere in the world is downtown SLC, you idiots!)

http://mormontimes.com/studies_doctrine/church_history/?id=9551

“Park said Parley Pratt helped articulate the Mormons' "radically optimistic" view of the body. This view developed as doctrines were revealed by Joseph Smith and then explained by Pratt”

(EDITOR: Oh, yeah! Boffing other men's wives!)



Monday, June 01, 2009

Prayers from the Vedas

I found this by an act of serendipity, so thought I should share it with you:-

Monday, May 04, 2009

Lack of recent posts. sorry!

There has been a lack of recent posts on Notamormon. I am sorry about this, but I have been very heavily involved in covering a major political scandal that reaches right to the very top of the government of Britain.

Just Google Derek Draper and Damian McBride (and the terms Drapergate and Smeargate) to see what has being happening! Or take a look at the following Wikipedia entry:-

Derek Draper Wkipedia entry

And now for some Mormon related stuff:

http://www.advocate.com/news_detail_ektid82061.asp

“Antigay Group Hiding Mormon Cash?”

http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/former-white-supremacist-turns-over-new-leaf-2702985

Former white supremacist turns over new leaf (He got married in the Mormon temple and is nw no longer racist, but pro-white! (I can't decide if I should laugh or puke. Maybe I'll do both...)

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/04/28/Calendars-feature-Mormon-men-moms/UPI-30041240956587/

“Calendars feature Mormon men, moms”

(Mormon Moms? Chad describes them as “Mormon Muffins.” (A whole new meaning to the acronym MILF, perhaps? Mind you in the British Isles Muffin might have a different meaning to whatever Chad has in mind over in the USA. “A good Muffin” is, oh, well, I am sure you need no further explanation!)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ann-wright/bybee-and-peterson-two-mo_b_192951.html

The Mormon who authorised torture. And the Mormon who refused to torture.

http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2009-04-30/news/richard-franco-discovered-that-the-government-can-interfere-with-a-man-s-freedom-of-religion-in-divorce-court/

Judge Bars Divorced Man from Taking His Kids to Mormon Services

(Good. Though the idiot who write this story doesn't think so. Is she a Mormon, too?)


Friday, February 13, 2009

Mormonism takes

Mormonism takes a great deal, but gives very little in return. Because every time I visited my mother I got loads of guilt heaped on my head ("Get your fresh guilt here! Fresh guilt! Get your fresh guilt here!") that made me resent going to see her. What stopped me going to see her were the silly lies she told people about my girlfriend who is now my wife.

Apparently my wife made me give up Mormonism. This only works in my mother's head. The maths are simple. I left Mormonism in 1981, I met my wife-to-be in 1989. Doesn't add up, does it?

However, I recently started going over to see my mother again. At my wife's insistence, I have to add. And things are pretty cool at the moment...

No guilt trips round the bay, no attacks on my wife.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

New posting, no Veil

Well, here I am with a new posting, first one in a while.

There's no Carnival of the Veil at present, as nobody has made any posts on their blogs, either. Well, at least, nobody has sent any posts to me for inclusion in the latest COV, which may or may not be the same thing.

At the moment I am being entertained (for want of a better word) by one of the illegal lodgers at the house that is rented out next door. Why not move? Well, that's not possible at the moment, as we own our house and current market conditions are against putting our house up for sale.

The man who rents the house and his wife are lovely people, but she has just lost her job, so they have decided to take in lodgers (without the permission of the owner of their house) in order to be able to make the rent which is £650 per month. So we can understand why they have done it. Though it is a pity they have allowed one person who rents a room to bring their megga-powerful sound system.

We (that is, my wife and I) believe this will all end in tears, as the young woman concerned seems to move from house to house in the small town we live in. And she has a reputation for laving her last home with stuff that does not belong to her. Though we can't say anything, as these are rumours only.

I have been very busy lately. One of the reasons why there have been no posts on this blog in a while. The company I work for in my day job has decided to slash the use of freelance contributors, meaning that much of the work the freelance writers did has now fallen on my shoulders. And we had no pay rise last year and no Christmas bonus, either. And two of the firm's support staff (one admin, one in accounts) have been let go due to the way the magazine publishing industry has been hit so very hard in the UK.

I have also being working hard in the evenings trying to make money from my websites and freelance writing. Sometimes I do not finish until 1 or even 2am, and have to get up for work at 7.15am, for another day of writing. You have to do what you have to do in order to survive. My wife works, even though her health is not too good. She has arthritis.

Well, at least I am not in the position of all the Mormons I know. They have to pay 10% of their income to the corporate church. That's £1 in every £10 that they earn.