Hello again!

Hello, again.

I haven't been able to post on my blog for a couple of days. Apparently Blogger.com was out for nearly two days.

It seems something went wrong during or after a scheduled maintenance period and it took the Google/Blogger engineers and technical people a long time to figure out what had happened and to fix it.

Well done, folks! You must have put in some long hours! Glad you got us back on line!

New design on a blog I am following

Alexis over at The Many Banes of My Existance, http://alexisar.blogspot.com has come up with a nice new design for her blog.

Is it time for a new blog design here at Not A Mormon? Well, perhaps it is!

When my blog started

My blog started in February 2006. That's just over five years ago.

During that time I have made a large number of posts on a wide variety of topics. Many on Mormonism and what it is like to be an ex-Mormon. Some, however, have not been about Mormonism and ex-Mormonism, but on topics that I hold dear to my heart. Conservation is one such subject. Not long ago I wrote an article on frog conservation because I believe that frogs are an important part of the web of life.

I have even posted about when my wife and I met the Queen and Prince Philip. Oh. Or have I? I'll check, and if I haven't I'll make that post, soon!

I have published a book based on some of my blog posts. Most people like this, one person thought there were too many swearwords in it. Oh, dear. In my opinion that is one person who cannot cope with life outside the precious Mormon bubble. Hopefully they will learn to cope with life in the real world.

Well, what will the next five years bring? Let's find out together, shall we?!

And thanks for Blogger.com for making the whole thing possible!

Jealous?

Are some Mormons jealous of ex-Mormons? Do they resent the fact that we are perceived, by them and their fellow Mormons, as being more free than they are?

That if we want to drink tea, coffee alcohol, or a decaffeinated drink, that we can do so, without breaking the somewhat weird word of wisdom?

Is that why? Readers, please tell me what you feel about this via the comment section of this blog. Thank you!

My ex-Mormon book is finally coming closer to publication

Yes, after a year or so of thinking and a false start (an Acer laptop that bit the dust. Here's a tip. Don't buy Acer) my ex-Mormon book is finally taking shape.

At least initially I intend to publish it as an e-book and whilst I have yet to firmly fix a price, I am thinking about pricing it at somewhere in the range of $2.00 to $5.00. Though probably at the lower end of that range...

The book will basically be culled from my Blog, Not A Mormon. Although there will be some new material used in it, too. Not every post will be used, as some are not really relevant for a book on my experiences as an ex-Mormon.

The book is being edited and proofread, now. It is amazing how many typos can be found! And I am hoping that it will be published by the end of May.

I'll keep you updated on the book and it will be on sale through the Notamormon blog.

COV for Sunday 24 February

Welcome to the COV for Sunday 24 February.

We start this time with a submission from the blog South Bay Soliloquies

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2008/02/ugly-american.html

"I've been having a couple instances of culture shock recently. Here's an anecdote.

I was relaying a story from my vacation today to someone I know. The story involved my grandmother saying something to me in Chinese that I didn't understand.

The person laughed and said, "so she was like, [unintelligible babble that an average American would think sounded like Chinese]"."

(MATT: There’s a lot of that about. It happens in Britain too, sadly.)

And in his blog, Doug looks at misplaced environmental concern. And makes a good point, too…

http://www.eighthourlunch.com/2008/02/misdirected-environmental-conc.html

“It has now been snowing since 3:30 this afternoon in what I'm pretty sure is the BILLIONTH fucking snowstorm of this never-ending winter. As I looked out the window at the buckets of fluffy stuff falling from the sky, it got me thinking about just one thing—global warming.”

And Sister Mary Lisa sends her very welcome submission concerning an email someone has sent her:

http://sistermarylisa.blogspot.com/2008/02/dear-sml-falling-for-someone.html

Dear SML - Falling for Someone

Dear SML:

I'm in a quandary. I've got a problem and could use your sage advice. You see, I've been married for a long time. Always faithful and true. Never strayed. Never thought I would even be tempted to, honestly. Most of that time, I was in the Mormon church and believed that the issue of marital fidelity was, like almost every moral issue, "black and white" with no shades of gray. I left the church (mentally at least) a couple years ago, and now I see moral ambiguity and nuance everywhere.

I love my wife and my family. But the last few years have been tough marriage-wise. We don't have the same spark we once did. She has trouble talking to me about things that are important to me, and does not respect my "hobbies," which she finds a waste of time. We are more like roommates (with "benefits") than an intimate partnership. Last year, my wife had an emotional affair (EA) (at least I am 95% sure it did not escalate to physical) with a co-worker that she has had a crush on for a few years now. She stopped working with him after I found out about it, and I think she was scared that if she had kept seeing him daily it would escalate. Lately, she has begun communicating with him again.”

SML offers some sage advice. Take a look, see if you can add some of your own advice and experiences.

This next blog post is from the Doc

http://locokazoo.com/2008/02/21/america-the-big-lie-wheres-the-apple-pie/

“Intro - Americans have bought the lies of unscrupulous politicians who are running a “protection” scam based on invented threats - Politicians who promote fear in order to REDUCE FREEDOM so that they and their benefactors can rape the public. I am amazed at the resentment I engender by sticking up for my supposedly protected rights (freedom and liberty) and for the rights of others. It seems that Americans have no idea what America is all about anymore.”

And this is from KitaKazoo

http://www.religioustattoos.net/

"Intro - It could it be that tattoos are more than just “a way for people to express their uniqueness and set themselves apart,” as Salt Lake City Tattoo Convention sponsor C.J. Starkey claims. With a history of over 6000 years of use in spiritual & religious ceremony they could become, the new symbol of spirituality for twenty first century America."

(MATT: Here’s a question for Doc and Kita, who are tattooing experts. And anyone else who happens to read this note: The Mark that was given to the tribe of Cain. Could this mark have been a way of explaining why a particular tribe chose to wear a tattoo? Just a thought that has occurred to me on and off for several years…)

And now a post from Emerging From the Ashes

http://emergingfromtheashes.blogspot.com/2008/02/homophobia-in-utah.html

“Homophobia in Utah

Visiting Utah has its advantages, like spending time with my family, letting my son play with his cousins, and frequent DAMU meet-ups. But then there's the Utah conservatism, the Sean Hannity on the radio, the church on every corner, the weird looks you get for ordering alcohol at dinner. And every time I'm here, I somehow end up in a frustrating conversation about homosexuality with some member of my family. I'm probably guilty of starting these conversations, to be fair. But then I ask myself, why? Why do I bother?

Yesterday I had a long conversation with my mom and a couple of my sisters about homosexuality. My mom kept calling people who are bisexual and anywhere on the spectrum except the two extremes "not particular" about where they get sex. As if that's all there was to it. It is so totally offensive. She also has this idea that gay people just sleep around with anybody and everybody. She accepts that "some people are just born that way" but thinks that most are just influenced by culture and want to experiment and "get it anywhere they can."”

(Matt: Oddly enough, your sister would have been right if she had been talking about a woman I knew at college. She decided to experiment with homosexuality. She slept with a female student who was openly gay, “just so I could see what it was like,” she said, afterwards. (She was an utter loony who had decided to use her own life as a social sciences experiment. She was doing a degree in Social Sciences) She next decided to experiment with the idea of seducing a younger man, and then deliberately dropping him "to study his reactions." He was also a fellow student in our year.

Both victims of her experiments were of course utterly crushed and devastated by her ‘experiments’ and the lies she had told them, and it cost her a lot of her friends. But I feel she was the exception, and not the rule…)

And now here is my blog submission

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2008/02/persecution-persecution-persecution-oh.html

“Persecution, persecution, persecution! Oh! You poor Mormons!

The flowing question was posted on Yahoo! Answers, the other day:

“Mormon haters, why do you hate the mormons? what did we do to you?

i want to know why you dislike or hate the mormons. dont give me the stuff about they said this and this and this so i hate them, because newsflash, people are going to say things you disagree with. so cry me a river, build me a bridge, and GET OVER IT. otherwise tell me why you vow our downfall and suffering.”

Oh, the arrogance of youth!”

That’s it for this issue. See you in a fortnight’s time!

Carnival of the Veil for Sunday January 27

Welcome to this issue of The Carnival of the Veil. IT is a very peaceful Sunday lunchtime as I write this issue of COV.

My wife is downstairs chatting to a friend, the parrots are dozing, and so are the cats. The sun has gone behind some rain clouds. They aren’t raining yet, but they look as if it is only a matter of time before they do!

And here I sit upstairs on my study, working away. I have taken a break from writing articles for my online news magazines to get the COV up on line. If you would like to take a look at my online magazines you can access them via www.thatsnews.org.uk.

Enough self-promotion! On with the show!

First we kick off with a post from fiddley.com’s In The News blog at

http://fiddley.com/archive/200801/in_the_news_double_entendres_and_double_standards

“When asked about newly-inaugurated Salt Lake City mayor Ralph Becker's proposed registry for domestic partners, State Senator Chris Buttars (R - West Jordan) replied, "I have great empathy for that kind of thing. I have no problem with people sharing insurance or their wills, estates, real estate or lives. I just have to be certain we're not coming in the back door of the Amendment 3 [ban on gay marriage and civil unions]."

I'm sorry... did he just say, coming in the back door of Amendment 3? I thought so. Poor choice of words, Senator Butthole. Personally, I hope the registry gives Amendment 3 a reach-around and a Dirty Sanchez.”

(MATT: And this from a senator called BUTTarse or something like that…)

And now South Bay Soliloquies (Has to be one of the coolest blog names ever)

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2008/01/divided.html

“I want to be in a relationship but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me, someone who doesn't, for want of a better term, suck.
I want to be single but I hate waking up in the morning to myself in the cold. I hate not having anyone to share my life with.
I feel like I'm missing a huge part of why I'm single and yet other people's advice seriously annoys me. I'm convinced that every theory on why single people are single is full of enough cow manure you could swim in it.”

(MATT: Life sometimes is a bit of a pain in the bottom, isn’t it? My specialist subject is stating the bleedin’ obvious!)

But now a book review from South Bay Soliloquies

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2008/01/book-review-if-love-is-game-these-are.html

“Most self-help books aren't worth the paper they're printed on. Most of them are filled with some of the most unloving language possible, blaming the other sex for your relationship problems, immature coping techniques, etc. Most I think create more drama than they resolve.

I'm most probably not the most emotionally mature 24 year old on the planet, and the past month has certainly not been a good one for me in terms of maturity. However, at least I see that flaw on me and I know it's something I can work on.

I first read major portions of If Love is a Game, These are the Rules in Barnes and Noble about a year ago. This book is without a doubt the most honest, truly open book on fixing ourselves and by extension our relationships. How do we authentically get the love we truly want and deserve? How do we build a sense of our own self-worth? How do we maintain love once we've found it? This book will teach you that and more.”

(MATT: Don’t worry. There’s plenty of time for being mature later on in life. Although I seem to be less mature now at 50 than I was at 25. Oh, well!)

Next up is a post from Emerging From the Ashes

http://emergingfromtheashes.blogspot.com/2007/12/immorality-education.html

“Like other Mormon young women (doesn't everyone else call them teenagers or youth?), I had the importance of "morality" drilled into me. Morals and ethics are fine things, but in Mormon parlance, "morality" means one thing: abstinence from sex. Conversely, "immorality" means having sex. Why the terms took on such specific meanings I cannot fathom, and I believe it creates a skewed idea of what morality actually is, but that the topic of this post. What I want to talk about is the Mormon version of teaching youth about sex.

As a youth, I was taught that immorality (which I always had to sort out in my head as different from immortality, another hot topic in Mormon churches) was bad, bad, bad, to be avoided at all costs, and just downright bad. Fornication was listed as the third worst sin, after murder (number two), and denying the Spirit (whatever that means). How messed up is that? Also, if you were "immoral," you were unworthy to go to the temple. And it was the temple where you wanted to get married, to start your eternal family, so you had better avoid immorality!”

(MATT: Odd, isn’t it, that although Mormon young people are not allowed to f**k with their bodies, the Mormon Church likes to f**k with their minds…)

Kita Kazoo sends in this link from the Desert News. I thank God my parents never emigrated to Utah as they planned at one time.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,695246368,00.html

“Gregory "Doc" Lowery, owner of Happy Valley Tattoo & Piercing, believes American Fork police trampled his civil rights when they raided his shop in early January looking for what police say were questionable photographs.

Police obtained a search warrant for the shop after a man called police and said his daughter had seen photographs he felt were inappropriate for minors to view, said Lt. Darren Falslev. They executed the search warrant on Jan. 3 and took the pictures, photos of genital piercings, for further investigation. Falslev said police have turned their findings over to the county attorney's office, which will decide whether to file charges.”

(MATT: FWIW, I left a comment there.)

And now from CV Rick, Ninja Writer

http://www.cvrick.com/cv_rick/2008/01/i-never-had-a-p.html

“When I was sixteen years old I wanted to have a party. I was fairly popular, on the basketball team, a track star, getting good grades, and there wasn't anyone of note who wanted to beat me up. It was a pretty good year.

I went to my parents and asked if I could have a party. Mom smiled brightly, I remember. “That could be fun,”she said. This was an opportunity to make me happy at home, and as a teenager, I didn't have much happy time in the house.

“No,” my father said.

“But, why not?” I asked.

“There is no reason to have a party here. If you want to have a party, then just ask the clerk if you can reserve the gymnasium.”

“At the church?” I couldn't have wrung any more disappointment from my voice if I'd twisted my tongue like a rag.

“Nothing wrong with the church. There's a kitchen, the gym's big, and it'll fit all your friends.” He was staring at me, daring me. I knew he had his comeback locked and loaded, and I was set to release the target.

“Not all of my friends are Mormon,” I protested.

He fired, “Then it would be a perfect opportunity to fellowship them. You could give them your testimony.” “

(MATT: What a bloody nightmare.)

And now for my post. This is not a problem I have ever had to deal with, thank God. But I posted it because it is clearly something that a lot of people deal with. It is from the male perspective, though I know that many women will have to deal with the same issues.

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2008/01/your-ex-partner-has-someone-new-and.html

“Your ex partner has someone new and introduced your kids - handle that!

The Biggest Ask

How do you come to terms with the fact that your ex-partner has someone new in their life and your children have met this new person?

Remember, it is completely acceptable and natural for your partner to move on and find themselves a new companion and partner. In fact, at some point in the future, you will be doing exactly the same, if you haven’t already.

First of all, that rising tide of nausea you feel when you first find out, and the waves of stress you feel when you start to hear all about them, is completely normal; as are all the other feelings that wash over you – anger, resentment, confusion, hurt, jealousy, loss and betrayal. Regardless of what caused you to separate from your ex-partner, it is quite likely that you will experience at least some, if not all, of these feelings at one point or another.”

See you in two weeks time!

Hi. Hope you all had a good Christmas and New Year. And welcome to this edition of Carnival of the Veil.

Firstly let’s take a look at Eight Hour Lunch

http://www.eighthourlunch.com/2008/01/big-fat-friday-bff-invitation.html

“A couple of years ago on a bulletin board I used to visit, a bunch of us started a remote workout group. Of course distance prevented any of us from actually meeting each other, but we reported in regularly with our progress. For a long time it was a great way to get or stay in shape and make new friends.

So with that in mind, I'd like to propose BFF - Big Fat Friday as an online group event. I've already written chapter one, but I'd love for a bunch of you to join me in your fitness goals for the new year.”

(MATT: Now that’s an interesting idea. Somewhat scary, but an interesting idea never-the-less!)

Kita doesn’t think she will have anything for this issue, but kindly points out that Doc does. http://docloco.com/2008/01/utah-police-violate-church-pt-2.html

“Rev. Dr. Gregory Lowrey

Healer, Counselor, CEO

In Part 2 of this report, I will try to summarize Part 1 and include a summary history of the efforts of American Fork City to harass Whole Life Ministries since we moved to American Fork, Utah in March 2007.

Since writing part 1, I have been in contact with several private and government agencies regarding this matter and have found support at the County, State and Federal levels of Government while locally; American Fork Government is typically giving me the cold shoulder.”

(MATT: Having read this report all I can say is thank God my parents did not emigrate to Utah from Britain as they at one time planned to do.)

And this just in hot off the presses from Eight Hour Lunch!

http://www.eighthourlunch.com/2008/01/porn-again.html

“A few days ago someone told me with confidence that Utah leads the nation in porn consumption.”

(Matt: But Eight Hour Lunch remains to be convinced! -Though wasn’t there something on the RFM board not so long back about Google Search terms and didn’t porn search terms crop up rather a lot in SLC?)

And the next post is one from South Bay Soliloquies:

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2008/01/date-night.html

“I'm made dinner tonight for a fellow. He's a nice fellow - I'm afraid I'm going to screw it up. But then, do I really want to be in a relationship? I mean, some aspects of relationships are nice, but I don't know if I really want to deal with some one else's issues. I have enough troubles dealing with my own!”

(MATT: If you fed him the recipes that you posted on your blog, he might not want to leave!)

And here is my contribution for this edition of COV

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2008/01/big-love-complete-first-season-debuts.html

“Big Love The Complete First Season Debuts on DVD 3 March in UK

"Fascinating...first-rate drama" - Time Magazine

How would you cope with being one of three wives to your devoted husband, competing for his time and affection?

Find out what it would be like the easier way as multiple Emmy® Award and Golden Globe® Award nominee BIG LOVE finally finds itself wed to DVD as The Complete First Season debuts on 3 March 2008 from HBO Video.

All 12 episodes and exclusive special features will be presented across 5 discs at the 'family value' price of £39.99 RRP….

“…The series, as broadcast on five tells the story of Bill Henrickson (Bill Paxton), a practicing Mormon fundamentalist polygamist who lives in suburban Salt Lake City with his three wives and seven children.”

(MATT: Oh. Did I mention that they were a family of Mormon fundamentalist polygamists? Oh, dear. I did!)

Do you know anyone who runs an exmoblog and who doesn’t submit it to COV? Please pass on an invitation to them to start submitting posts from their blogs.

See you all in two weeks time at the next edition of COV.

Ex-Mormon Carnival of the Veil October 21 2007

Hello and welcome to this issue of Carnival of the Veil. At present we are having unusually warm sunny days. This is not uncommon in October in Britain. But the cloudless days give way to cloudless nights and the damp cold does then start to bite. And we are getting ground frosts. Time to get the vulnerable plants under cover or in doors. We are sharing our kitchen with two potted trees at the moment. Eventually when we build a conservatory, they will live in there.

First off this time is a post from South Bay Soliloquise

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2007/10/knotts-scary-farm-2007.html

“I went to Knott's Scary Farm last night.I had, for want of a better, more intense, more descriptive phrase, a blast. Everyone in our party of six got spooked at least twice.Some friends from my happy hour group got together and we carpooled down to Buena Park. For dinner we went to the pre-scare dinner special buffet - Mrs. Knott's fried chicken, mashed potatoes, assorted salads, dinner rolls (with boysenberry jam!) and pie. I, of course, had to have a slice of the boysenberry pie. The fried chicken was most delicious.”

Sounds like a great time was had by all!

Next up is Equality’s Blog.

http://equalitysblog.typepad.com/equality_time/2007/10/recommended-sit.html

“With all the great resources out there for people who are engaged in religious studies generally and Mormon studies in particular, I thought I would start a new recurring feature here at Equality Time to help people find the best blogs and web sites out there on the "Internets" that deal with these subjects. For the inaugural post in what I intend to be a regular series, I feature a newly created blog by a talented artist (who, it seems, at this point wants to remain anonymous). The blog is called Images of the Restoration. The author/artist of this blog has created a number of compelling depictions of events from Mormon history--events that Mormon apologists, studious members of the LDS Church who venture outside the correlated materials, and critics of the LDS Church alike are aware of but which are seldom if ever mentioned or depicted in official LDS Church lesson materials.”

Cool! Looks like this could be a really great idea for a continuing series on the blog.

Sister Mary Lisa (blogger and artist) is here with

http://sistermarylisa.blogspot.com/2007/10/leavin-on-jet-plane-part-three.html

“Jet lag was a term I had heard of but had never experienced until I arrived at that scouting lodge in Austria. We were shown into big rooms full of single twin beds and bunkbeds, where we all fell into an exhausted sleep almost immediately.

I discovered cultural differences the next morning while getting ready that until then I had been ignorant of. Standing at the sink next to a girl from France, I reached for the cold faucet and turned it on at the exact same time she turned on the hot. We had each also simultaneously lowered our toothbrushes under the water to get the toothpaste wet before brushing. We looked at each other in surprise, and she spoke first. “You use cold water when you brush your teeth?!” I replied, “You use hot?!” Interesting. I let her go first. She shook her head and laughed about using cold water with another French girl.”

(HOT water? Gosh! Do these French people have no shame? No sense of conservation?!)
By the way, I might have mentioned this before, but Sister Mary Lisa has the coolest photograph I have ever seen on any blog. Ever. Just check it out to see what I mean.


And from Fiddley Gomme we have a General Conference blog post
http://fiddley.com/archive/200710/conference_weekend “Around our house, LDS General Conference has become and excuse for Donna to hole up in her craft room and scrapbook with a friend. For them, the weekend is meant to be free of spouses and children. An orgy of die-cuts and heart-shaped punches, not to be interrupted by the trivial goings-on of the rest of us.” Crafting is a damn serious business! And finally, here is my blog for this edition of Carnival of the Veil http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2007/10/matt-really-must-get-his-act-together.html “I really must get my act together and finish of my book. I am writing my very own “book of the bog” a book based on the best of my posts here at Notamormon.
Why? Well I have always wanted to write a book and as I already have the material that I have published on the blog it would seem to be silly to ignore that wealth of material.”

Matt REALLY must get his act together!

I really must get my act together and finish of my book. I am writing my very own “book of the bog” a book based on the best of my posts here at Notamormon.

Why? Well I have always wanted to write a book and as I already have the material that I have published on the blog it would seem to be silly to ignore that wealth of material.

It will tell some of the highs and the lows of being a former Mormon. And God knows, there are enough highs and lows.

Being an ex-Mormon is hard enough if none of your family members joined the Mormon Church. But if your entire immediate family joined or you family has been under the cosh of the Mormon cult for many years, then it must be infinitely worse.

Does anyone know of a publisher who might want to take a look at my ex-Mormon book? If you do, then please email me their contact details at matt_exmo@yahoo.co.uk

By the way, do you know anyone who writes an ex-Mormon or post-Mormon blog and who is not yet a member of the Carnival of the Veil? If so, please do invite them to join us here at the Carnival of the Veil. All they need do is to email me at matt_exmo@yahoo.co.uk and I will add them to the Carnival of the Veil mailing list.