Sunday, March 23, 2008

COV for Sunday 24th March


Hello. Welcome to the COV for Sunday 24th March.

First off a contribution from Eric

A flashback to my Mormon days... Ode To Me, Ward Clerk.
A poem I wrote a few years ago for The Sugar Beet, an online Mormon satire magazine. I was a frustrated ward clerk in one of the most conservative wards in Happy Valley (my mustache/goatee was a constant source of contention in the stake, causing issues ranging from leading the young men astray to upsetting Jesus). I put some of my frustrations into this quick poem, which I submitted to be published in The Sugar Beet's printed edition. It never made it to the online or printed magazines, but eventually made it to The Sugar Beet's compendium of humor, The Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer.

My days as a ward clerk feel like a lifetime ago, but the emotions and frustrations are still as real today as they were then.

(MATT: Being a ward clerk sucks. About as much as being the Ward Exec Sec. All of the work, none of the benefits. (What benefits??))

And next from Runtu:

Here's my first contribution in over a year:

http://runtu.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/life-without-mormonism/

As for your tag line, try this:

Reality sucks. Try Mormonism!

(MATT: Thanks! A very thoughtful article. Mormonism DOES use fear to keep members down.

And maybe I could try that tagline! Sorry about the hyperlink not working. I can't figure out how to create hyperlinks in Firefox. Anyone got an idea, please?)

Here's one from Fr33kishly Paranoid.

An interesting post. He knows where the Golden Plates are!




And now we step over to South Bay Soliloquies where we read an interest post on running, running shoes and on how you can't stop in life.

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2008/03/something-profound.html

And now here is mine (Without the hyperlink. Dang!)

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2008/03/why-joseph-smith-is-not-prophet.html

I had a Mormon post a comment on my blog that Joseph Smith was a prophet even if physical reality told him it was not true.

I attempt in my post to examine Joseph Smith's false prophethood by comparing him to a fake doctor. (Actually a true story.)

Well, that's it for now. Easter is almost over for another year and I'll see you in another two weeks.

Why Joseph Smith is not a prophet

Joseph Smith is not a prophet. Why? Because he wasn't a prophet. It is as simple as that.

A practising Mormon called Andrew made the following point on my blog:
"Matt my friend,

Truth is found through prayer, fasting, and study, not through physical evidence.
I know Joseph Smith was a prophet because God Himself told me. He truly did. No amount of physical evidence, however persuasive, could convince me otherwise."

My reply was

"Andrew, my dear old mate, thank you for your comment.

I prayed. Long and hard. I fasted I prayed and I studied for a very long time.

And God told me that Joseph Smith was NOT his prophet. That the LDS church was NOT his church.

This came as something of a surprise, as I was firmly convinced that when I received an answer from God that it would confirm my testimony. But it did not.

Why did Joseph Smith NOT mention the several groups that did live in the Americas? Because he was not a prophet of God. It's that simple.

At times, I wondered if it would have been better to rely on the testimonies of others, not to do as I did to pray for my own, personal answer. Because the answer I got was a hard one. All I had been taught since my parents had converted to Mormonism was,God told me, wrong.

But as I grew older I came to accept the will of God more. If God had wanted me to have continued being a Mormon, he would have left me as one. He saved me."

How can I explain this? Let's suppose that instead of being a prophet, someone called Smith decided to pose as a Doctor of Medicine. He had a fake certificate printed up, that is such a good forgery that few think to ask any questions. Those that do question his status are regarded as being jealous. Because hasn't Doctor Smith got such a good bedside manner? Doesn't he really care for the older members of the community? Isn't he good with the children?

But eventually, other people start to ask questions. Dr Smith starts to prescribe some really bizarre treatments. The drugs he prescribes are often the wrong drug, or in the wrong dosages.

Or he prescribes two teaspoons of hair shampoo for an internal complaint.

He tells someone that there is nothing wrong with them, and it is found out when he collapses in the street that he has a cancer which, if Doctor Smith had referred him to hospital, would have been curable. But now it is too late.

Eventually the medical authorities step in and, at the outraged instigation of a pharmacist, they conduct an investigation. They discover that Smith had not attended medical college as he should have done, but had been asked to leave for various nefarious practices. He borrowed a genuine Doctor's certificate and has a perfect copy made but in his own name.

When this is discovered, many patients come forward with stories of how he failed to identify a wide variety of medical conditions. They had complained to the authorities but had been ignored as Dr Smith was such a popular doctor with the other doctors in the area.

The physical evidence that Smith was a fake Doctor was merely evidence that he was a fake medical practitioner. Not that his certificate was a fake.

Anyone can want to pretend to be a doctor, or an architect, or a police officer, or a general, or whatever. Only a man like Joseph Smith can desire to pretend to be something (in Smith's case, a prophet of God) and then to continue to put this desire into practice.

What about Frank Abagnale? He used falsehoods and faked papers to pretend to be a number of things. Including a teaching assistant at BYU.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Abagnale

Incidentally the story of the fake doctor who was spotted when he prescribed shampoo as an internal medication? It really did happen in Northern England, several years ago. And the local pharmacist, who had warned the medical authorities for several years about his suspicions that the doctor was a fake was eventually proved right.

Rather like when William Law published the Navoo Expositor in order to expose Joseph Smith as a fake prophet.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

COV for Sunday March 9

Hello and welcome to COV for this week. I am afraid you might have to copy and paste links this time. My version of Word will not work as I have not been able to register it, as it refuses to acknowlede that I am online using a wireless modem and Firefox. So much for modern technology. Unless I can fix it in another way!


This from Kita Kazoo:

Here's my submission - This post is an experiment, I am trying to politically stir up the progressive Utah Mormons by teaching them their religion.
http://locokazoo.com/2008/03/06/utahs-silent-majority/
(MATT: Looks like a cool idea)

This one is from Corn Child
http://averticalbloghappens.blogspot.com/2008/02/screeching-to-halt.html

The last week has been a total letdown. I have this overwhelming sense of dread and anxiety that I just can't seem to shake. I've been flying at 250 miles an hour for the last year and a half, working towards the big degree, and suddenly I'm done! Wham! There's no gradual descent back into reality. It's just over.

(MATT: This happens. The first semester I was a Mormon and finishing the exams left me feeling down for a couple of weeks. The next semester I was an ex-Mormon and we had a damn good party fuelled by much booze in the Student Union Bar, with the booze atradically discounted prices. And I had not a minute of post-exam depression.)

And Here's one form the archives of From The Ashes
http://emergingfromtheashes.blogspot.com/2006/12/sleep-induced-conversation-with-mormon.html


The next blog entry is from South Bay Soliloquies.
http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-morning-routine.html

"I added something to my morning routine today that I think will require a little extra coordination and some practice.

I tend to drink a lot of tea as my caffeine source, but sometimes I just have to have a cup of coffee. Especially since my exposure to using sweetened condensed milk as creamer."

(Condensed milk is great. Try whipping it. It whips up well.)

And last, here is mine.
http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2008/03/how-come-joe-smith-never-mentioned-this.html

See you next time! And please keep those blog posts flooding in!

How come Joe Smith never mentioned THIS?

Remote Ontario Lake Reveals Mysterious Ancient Structure

Summary:

While divers were conducting a unique submarine project in MacDonald Lake at the Haliburton Forest and Wild Life Reserve, they encountered an ancient stone structure revealing proof of life from Central Ontario ancestors.

The history of Eastern Canada is generally viewed in two stages: 1st - recent history, measured in decades and centuries, involving the early, white settlers and 2nd - the early history, measured in many centuries and millennia, represented by petroglyphs, stone mounds and arrow heads that takes us several hundred, sometimes a thousand or two years back into North America's native past.

A third stage may now have to be added: the ancient past, when the landscape hardly resembled the forest clad hills of today and the environment was just recovering from thousands of years of glaciation. Some ten thousand years ago, human populations were not measured in thousands or even millions like today, but dozens, or at best hundreds. Even this handful of ancestors managed to leave us proof of their existence. In a cold lake in remote Central Ontario a possible artifact has been recently discovered.

In the spring of 2005, diving was conducted in MacDonald Lake as part of a unique submarine project at the acclaimed Haliburton Forest and Wild Life Reserve (http://www.haliburtonforest.com).

Haliburton Forest is a premiere Ontario attraction, well known for its commitment to education, wildlife and the environment. Repeatedly staff of Haliburton Forest would stumble upon an unusual stone structure, perched on top of a rock ledge at a depth of 40 feet below the present lake level. Initially the structure was considered a complex version of a “perched erratic†, those monstrous rocks, ferried by the glaciers thousands of years ago and dumped where they happened to melt at the end of one of the recent cold-freezes.

From across northern North America, examples of compound perched erratics are known, where 2 or even 3 rocks happened to land on top of each other, leaving behind a natural structure. Initially, this is what was considered to be the origin of the Haliburton Forest mystery rock formation. When several geologists and archaeologists saw images of this object - a 1,000 pound, elongated and south pointing rock sitting on baseball-sized stones at each end, which in turn, were resting on a massive, several thousand pound slab on top of the ledge, they expressed doubts about its natural origin. But could the structure be of human origin? If so, how could that be established?

Haliburton Forest engaged the services of an underwater archaeologist to examine the structure. Before diving, he explained that so far he had never encountered man-made rock-cairns, which were stabilised without the help of shim-stones. If he found these, it would convince him of the structure's man-made, not natural, origin.

After a 30 minute dive examining the rock assembly closely and carefully, taking pictures along the way, the expert emerged with his unequivocal conclusion: the existence of 3 shims was proof to him that the assembly of now seven rocks was the result of human activity and not a fluke of nature.

Subsequently, Haliburton Forest turned to the services of a statistician to calculate the probability of 7 rocks falling on top of each other creating a 'structure'. Albeit difficult to assess, he reported back that even 4 rocks creating a natural structure was almost unattainable, but that the probability of 7 rocks hitting at the right time and place was virtually impossible.

But who, and especially when was the structure erected? What was its purpose? Subsequent dives closely examined the structure for any signs of the use of tools, decorative images or other irregularities, to no avail. The thick layer of silt covering the vertical surfaces suggests that certainly within living memory no human has ever touched the structure.

Biologists and geologists weighed in to assist the puzzled archaeologists. The geologists pointed to a dramatic drought, which gripped Eastern North America between 9000 and 7000 BC. Conditions were so dry during that time that lake levels in the Great Lakes were up to 50 meters lower and inland lakes, like McDonald Lake, which were still fed by spring melt and summer rain water, were assumed several dozen feet lower than their present water levels.


And why then, at a time when so few humans roamed Ontario, would they pick remote MacDonald Lake for a stone cairn, especially such a large, elaborate one? Here is where the biologist pointed to the conclusion of his 30 years of research: McDonald Lake is home to an ancient, glacial relic lake trout, which had survived several bouts of glaciation and retained unique features, which allowed it to survive, where other fish had perished.

From his records, he could also add that McDonald Lake, in prehistoric times was not a lake, but part and north-westerly end-point of an ancient river system which, for millennia, funnelled glacial meltwater south into what was then mighty Lake Agassis.

Many visitors to Haliburton Forest who have seen images of the rock cairn have commented on its balanced, almost attractive appearance. The surface of the top rock is almost perfectly level. Many have pointed out the many similarities between the MacDonald Lake stone structure and an artic inukshuk.

The environment in the far north resembles what Central Ontario may have looked like after the retreat of the ice many thousands of years ago. The MacDonald Lake inukshuk sits at the edge of a deep ledge, pointing to the deepest hole in the entire chain of lakes, today some 150 feet deep. At times of dramatically lower lake levels, was this the pool where the ancient trout retreating to?

While many questions remain, it is very intriguing to imagine a small band of early humans, camped on the shores of a remote lake where today modern man camps and catches trout, just as his ancestors did thousands of years ago. The story of the MacDonald Lake stone structure adds a new dimension to resource use and stewardship in Ontario.

Haliburton Forest & Wildlife Reserve features wilderness adventure activities including the Wolf Centre, the Walk in the Clouds forest canopy tour, groomed snowmobile trails, mountain biking, dogsledding, hiking, astronomy, wildlife observation, as well as wilderness camping and accommodations. For more information, please visit http://www.haliburtonforest.com

Joe would have mentioned this, had he known about it? Well, yes. And that's the thing of it, isn't it? Joe only mentioned what he knew about. Sure sign of bieng a prophet! (NOT!)

Sunday, February 24, 2008

COV for Sunday 24 February

Welcome to the COV for Sunday 24 February.

We start this time with a submission from the blog South Bay Soliloquies

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2008/02/ugly-american.html

"I've been having a couple instances of culture shock recently. Here's an anecdote.

I was relaying a story from my vacation today to someone I know. The story involved my grandmother saying something to me in Chinese that I didn't understand.

The person laughed and said, "so she was like, [unintelligible babble that an average American would think sounded like Chinese]"."

(MATT: There’s a lot of that about. It happens in Britain too, sadly.)


And in his blog, Doug looks at misplaced environmental concern. And makes a good point, too…

http://www.eighthourlunch.com/2008/02/misdirected-environmental-conc.html

“It has now been snowing since 3:30 this afternoon in what I'm pretty sure is the BILLIONTH fucking snowstorm of this never-ending winter. As I looked out the window at the buckets of fluffy stuff falling from the sky, it got me thinking about just one thing—global warming.”

And Sister Mary Lisa sends her very welcome submission concerning an email someone has sent her:

http://sistermarylisa.blogspot.com/2008/02/dear-sml-falling-for-someone.html

Dear SML - Falling for Someone

Dear SML:

I'm in a quandary. I've got a problem and could use your sage advice. You see, I've been married for a long time. Always faithful and true. Never strayed. Never thought I would even be tempted to, honestly. Most of that time, I was in the Mormon church and believed that the issue of marital fidelity was, like almost every moral issue, "black and white" with no shades of gray. I left the church (mentally at least) a couple years ago, and now I see moral ambiguity and nuance everywhere.

I love my wife and my family. But the last few years have been tough marriage-wise. We don't have the same spark we once did. She has trouble talking to me about things that are important to me, and does not respect my "hobbies," which she finds a waste of time. We are more like roommates (with "benefits") than an intimate partnership. Last year, my wife had an emotional affair (EA) (at least I am 95% sure it did not escalate to physical) with a co-worker that she has had a crush on for a few years now. She stopped working with him after I found out about it, and I think she was scared that if she had kept seeing him daily it would escalate. Lately, she has begun communicating with him again.”

SML offers some sage advice. Take a look, see if you can add some of your own advice and experiences.


This next blog post is from the Doc

http://locokazoo.com/2008/02/21/america-the-big-lie-wheres-the-apple-pie/

“Intro - Americans have bought the lies of unscrupulous politicians who are running a “protection” scam based on invented threats - Politicians who promote fear in order to REDUCE FREEDOM so that they and their benefactors can rape the public. I am amazed at the resentment I engender by sticking up for my supposedly protected rights (freedom and liberty) and for the rights of others. It seems that Americans have no idea what America is all about anymore.”


And this is from KitaKazoo

http://www.religioustattoos.net/

"Intro - It could it be that tattoos are more than just “a way for people to express their uniqueness and set themselves apart,” as Salt Lake City Tattoo Convention sponsor C.J. Starkey claims. With a history of over 6000 years of use in spiritual & religious ceremony they could become, the new symbol of spirituality for twenty first century America."

(MATT: Here’s a question for Doc and Kita, who are tattooing experts. And anyone else who happens to read this note: The Mark that was given to the tribe of Cain. Could this mark have been a way of explaining why a particular tribe chose to wear a tattoo? Just a thought that has occurred to me on and off for several years…)


And now a post from Emerging From the Ashes

http://emergingfromtheashes.blogspot.com/2008/02/homophobia-in-utah.html

“Homophobia in Utah

Visiting Utah has its advantages, like spending time with my family, letting my son play with his cousins, and frequent DAMU meet-ups. But then there's the Utah conservatism, the Sean Hannity on the radio, the church on every corner, the weird looks you get for ordering alcohol at dinner. And every time I'm here, I somehow end up in a frustrating conversation about homosexuality with some member of my family. I'm probably guilty of starting these conversations, to be fair. But then I ask myself, why? Why do I bother?

Yesterday I had a long conversation with my mom and a couple of my sisters about homosexuality. My mom kept calling people who are bisexual and anywhere on the spectrum except the two extremes "not particular" about where they get sex. As if that's all there was to it. It is so totally offensive. She also has this idea that gay people just sleep around with anybody and everybody. She accepts that "some people are just born that way" but thinks that most are just influenced by culture and want to experiment and "get it anywhere they can."”

(Matt: Oddly enough, your sister would have been right if she had been talking about a woman I knew at college. She decided to experiment with homosexuality. She slept with a female student who was openly gay, “just so I could see what it was like,” she said, afterwards. (She was an utter loony who had decided to use her own life as a social sciences experiment. She was doing a degree in Social Sciences) She next decided to experiment with the idea of seducing a younger man, and then deliberately dropping him "to study his reactions." He was also a fellow student in our year.

Both victims of her experiments were of course utterly crushed and devastated by her ‘experiments’ and the lies she had told them, and it cost her a lot of her friends. But I feel she was the exception, and not the rule…)


And now here is my blog submission

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2008/02/persecution-persecution-persecution-oh.html

“Persecution, persecution, persecution! Oh! You poor Mormons!

The flowing question was posted on Yahoo! Answers, the other day:

“Mormon haters, why do you hate the mormons? what did we do to you?

i want to know why you dislike or hate the mormons. dont give me the stuff about they said this and this and this so i hate them, because newsflash, people are going to say things you disagree with. so cry me a river, build me a bridge, and GET OVER IT. otherwise tell me why you vow our downfall and suffering.”

Oh, the arrogance of youth!”


That’s it for this issue. See you in a fortnight’s time!

Persecution, persecution, persecution! Oh! You poor Mormons!

The flowing question was posted on Yahoo! Answers, the other day:

“Mormon haters, why do you hate the mormons? what did we do to you?

i want to know why you dislike or hate the mormons. dont give me the stuff about they said this and this and this so i hate them, because newsflash, people are going to say things you disagree with. so cry me a river, build me a bridge, and GET OVER IT. otherwise tell me why you vow our downfall and suffering.”

Oh, the arrogance of youth!

There was a boy at my school –lets call him Jim- who was constantly whining about how unfair it was that he was always being hit and beaten up by other pupils at the school. Jim complained to his mother who complained to the headmaster about how her dear little boy, Jim, who never did anything wrong, was always being picked on and how it was terrible that the teachers would do nothing to help Jim or to look after him.

His mother and father were so concerned that they asked for the headmaster to arrange a meeting to discuss what the school could do about the terrible problems their son Jim was facing.

This presented the headmaster with something of a dilemma. He had to find a way to tell Mr and Mrs that the reason their angelic little son Jim was a great, hulking brute, who kept being bested in fights was because he would goad and bully other children, who were usually much younger than he was, and would goad and deliberately start fights with pupils of his own age or slightly older.

He would land the first two blows and when they instinctively hit back, Jim would thrown himself onto the ground, curl up into a ball and start yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs that so-and-so was beating him up. (Eventually the teachers got wise to this and ignored it as much as they could.)

Nobody ever was able to work out what Jim’s problem was and I think his parents refused to have Jim seen by the school psychologist, the service of whom was offered by the headmaster. Well, after all, they knew that it wasn’t their son’s fault, so why would HE need to be seen by the school psychologist?

I think this genuine case is a good analogy for the so-called persecution of the Mormon Church and the Mormons. In the early days of its history, the Mormon Church was by-and-large welcomed with open arms by the local people who they came to live near. But the leaders of the church began to covert the goods, land and property of their neighbours and plotted to steal it from them. With violence and murder if needs be.

When the so-called gentiles found out about this they decided to defend themselves against the Mormon menace as it had become.

“Persecution, persecution, persecution!” screamed the Mormons. “Why are you persecuting us?”

“Because you are members of a dangerous robber-cult lead by a murderous set of crooks, criminals and fraudsters who plan to kill us, drive us from our homes, take our widowed wives to marry for yourselves and also steal our lands and property!” was the perfectly reasonably reply.

The Mountain Meadows Massacre was a perfect example of what happens when a religious cult is founded and operated by bad men.

In more recent years (with the several exceptions of Mormons like Ted Bundy) the Mormons have tended to concentrating on killing their own, so the idea of Mormons (usually, though not exclusively, the traditional Brighamite Mormon groups) as murderous thugs has faded somewhat from the conscious mind of the public. Though a vestigial memory of Mormons as dangerous and murderous thugs might still be part of folk law memory of some areas. And finding out that Great-great Uncle Zeke was taken out and murdered by Danites and his body never recovered might upset some people to this very day.

The Mormon exclusion of non-Mormons from temple weddings is very upsetting for non-members and baptism for the dead is perceived by many as being morally wrong, repulsive and evil at worst and at best, culturally offensive.

Mormons cannot conceive that they are offensive and arrogant. That in fact they, the Mormons persecute other Mormons and non-Mormons on an almost continual basis. So when someone snaps and response to the goading and proddings of the Mormons or the Mormon Church, the wail of “Persecution, persecution, persecution!” is raised up and the Mormons put this down to the wickedness of the world. Not to their own wickedness, of course.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

COV is up

Hi! Hope you had a good weekend. We are having unseasonably warm weather here, but I expect we will suffer for it later in the month. For that is the way with British weather!

First we start with An Eight Hour Lunch

http://www.eighthourlunch.com/2008/01/good-riddance.html

“Adios, Mr. Hinckley. Too bad you couldn't take Fred Phelps with you. The only thing I can say positively about you is that thanks to your ministry of shameless and cynical self aggrandizement, there are less people who believe in Joseph Smith's con game now than there might have otherwise been.

There are then several highlights you won't get from the local news media. Actually Mr Hinckley’s death hardly raised a splash in the UK media. And without RFM I still would not know he was dead!

Next we have Kita Kazoo’s post

http://kitakazoo.com/2008/01/31/putting-away-the-fangs-and-getting-out-the-white-flags/

“Putting Away the Fangs and Getting Out the White Flags

One of my most favorite parts of reading newspapers online is the comments. There are so many different ways to look at every issue and having the public input has in my opinion made the news so much more interesting and informative. I learn a lot from reading the different perspectives expressed by individuals who have taken the time to give their input.

I read the news in both my home states, in both the liberal and conservative papers and then I read the Times and Post. Even though there is just as much conflict between the different camps conservative and liberal in all of the newspapers, there is a big difference between the comments in the Michigan & national news papers and the ones in Utah.

In Utah almost every stories comment section turns into a punching match between the “gentiles” and the Mormons who prefer to be known as “members”.”

And now a post from Mind on Fire, which deals with 10 misconceptions about atheists:

http://www.mindonfire.com/2008/01/30/ten-common-misconceptions-about-atheists/

“10. We eat babies.

No, but we think about it sometimes. Mmmmm, baby…”

Sounds fun. Where can we sign up? (Just kidding!)

And now, something Emerging From the Ashes

http://emergingfromtheashes.blogspot.com/2008/02/been-reading.html

Warning. This WILL make you very hungry indeed!

Been reading

I've been reading this fabulous book, eat, pray, love, by Elizabeth Gilbert. You've likely heard of it or at least seen it around, as it is a #1 New York Times Bestseller, as the cover proudly proclaims. It was recommended to me by both my devout mother-in-law and by fellow DAMU blogger, love medicine (who has exponentially expanded my To Read list).

The first section, "eat," is about a four-month stay in Italy, where the author practices the art of indulgence by learning Italian--for no other reason than she wants to--and by eating wonderful, delicious Italian food. There's this great chapter where she describes seeking out the best pizza place in Naples, the city where pizza began. Get this: she's eating the Best Pizza in the World. She gushes about this pizza with it's thin crust, perfectly flavored red sauce, and fresh mozzarella (once you've gone fresh, you can't go back). I tell you, she practically describes a food-gasm about this pizza. Tears of joy over the cheese. Shit, I almost had a food-gasm myself just reading about it. I thought back to the best pizza I've ever had, in New York City, with fellow exmos Meg & Jack Slate, hank rearden, lisesymom & exV, and juggler vain. We were there for lunch, I had skipped class and taken the train in just for this lunch, and we ate pepperoni pizza with rolls and red wine. The sauce was perfect, the crust was crisp but melt-in-your-mouth wonderful, and the fresh mozzarella just made this pizza. I can't imagine the pizza in Naples.”

And now something from Starbright

http://www.seeingreality.com/starbright/?p=180

“He’s finally dead. Not to be unsympathetic, but can you imagine the depth of damage control the new president - Tommy Gun Monson - is going to have to do in order to reverse the negative outlook on the LDS Church? It’ll never work. The damage is already done. Of course there’s the living prophet vs. dead prophet doctrine. Hmm.”


(A side note from Matt:-

I always have a copy of the invites to post to COV sent to my own Yahoo mailbox. It sent my own Yahoo email straight to my Yahoo Spam folder. Gee, Yahoo. Thanks. I think!)

And now, finally, my own contribution to COV

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2008/02/hello-there-and-goodbye-there-rejected.html

“For the first time in absolutely ages I had to reject a comment on this blog. Not because it was filled with the usual vacuous and vapid maudlin "pity poor, persecuted, me" tripe and twaddle of so many Mormons. Which it was. Nor that it was filled with enough strawmen to furnish 1,000 stage versions of The Wizard of Oz. Which it was.

Was it the fact that it was "uber-filled" with Mormon braggadocio. "You know that Mormons are some of the brightest and best moral charaters (sic) in society."”

See you in two weeks time!

Hello there and goodbye there, rejected Mormon commenter!

For the first time in absolutely ages I had to reject a comment on this blog. Not because it was filled with the usual vacuous and vapid maudlin "pity poor, persecuted, me" tripe and twaddle of so many Mormons. Which it was. Nor that it was filled with enough strawmen to furnish 1,000 stage versions of The Wizard of Oz. Which it was.

Was it the fact that it was "uber-filled" with Mormon braggadocio. "You know that Mormons are some of the brightest and best moral charaters (sic) in society." Well, actually, I don't know that. I have met Mormons who are moral and Mormons who are immoral. Why? Because Mormons are people, the same as everyone else. And for moral Mormons, look at Joseph Smith and his childbrides, Brigham Young and the Mountain Meadows Murders, and Ted Bundy. Ted, it seems, had merely found the perfect cult for his own personality disorders.

And was it because TK presumed that I am a criminal, a drug addict and default on my alimony payments? Well, no. TK I am not a criminal, nor a drug addict and have no children on which to lavish alimony payments. How DARE you be so damnably judgemental? Oh! Yes, of course! It is because you have set yourself above other people as a 'Judge in Israel' able to cast your judgements on the heads of others.

And by the way TK, you are not worthy enough to lick my late father's boots clean, you odious little Mormon person, you. Repent, TK! Repent to a priest (a real priest, not a Mormon male child, by the way) if you are not man enough to go to your own Mormon Bishop. And remember! A priest tells nobody what you tell him, your Bishop tells EVERYONE in the ward...

Actually, TK, I rejected your post because you committed an act of libel in it. On someone else. And if you think I am going to allow my site to be a launching ground for the libellous ravings of a sad, delusion Cultista like you, think again.

Now on to other news. Gordon B. Hinckley is dead. And for some reason it took me several seconds to get his first name straight. For some reason I wanted to write Bill Hinckley, which I knew was wrong.

The coverage in the UK press was minimal. Why? Well, Mormons are blaming persecution. However, the real reason is that, out here in the real world, far away from the flaccid and flabby hand of the political influence of the Mormon Cult, nobody really knows or cares much about Mormonism.

They do not care that Mr Hinckley changed the unchangeable doctrines of The Mormon Church, because they probably never bothered to wonder what they were in the first place!

God lives on a planet or a star or something called Kolob. Well, no, maybe he doesn't! We don't know that! You, too, can be a God, one day! Well, I don't know that we teach that!

You no longer have to mime allowing yourself to be murdered by having your belly cut open and your throat slit for revealing the secrets of the Mormon Temple ceremony!

Hinckley's tenure at the heart of Mormonism lasted for decades. He was in charge years and YEARS before he became prophet. It is just that the fraudulent use of the Benson signature machine worked until, with Benson's long and troublesome death, he was able to formalise what had been the reality for some considerable time.

Then he was at the heart of The Mormon Machine. What to do? What to do?

Mainstream. Nah. Failed. I mean, come on, folks! You are living in Israel in about 5AD and you see an advert for the King Herrod Childcare Centre. Would you send YOUR kids there? No way!

And that is how many other Churches see Mormonism. "Hi, we are Mormons. We are Christians. In fact, we love Jesus so much, we named Joseph Smith's church after him!"

Think I am joking? At BYU last year they had a Joseph Smith Nativity scene. And here is the link to prove it:-http://www.nataliercollins.com/weblog/?p=191

Ex-Mormons deride Mormons for celebrating Smithmas instead of Christmas. And it is true that often the emphasis in Mormon church services at around Christmas time is all too often on the Smith, rather than the Carpenter...

Monday, January 28, 2008

Extra! Extra! Late final! Additions to the 27/01/2008 COV

"Here ya go!"

http://sideon.wordpress.com/2008/01/26/articles-of-faith/

“And so it came to pass that Chanson posted an extensive list of the bloggers of Outer Blogness. An inspired moment led this fearless heathen to post this comment:

“By golly, that’s a lot of Outer Blogness. I’m thinkin’ a collaborative Book of Exmormon would be nifty - we could pilfer the best and brightest ideas, concepts, images and create one serialized book that celebrates diversity, sexuality, the various isms or ologies, with a nice hat tip towards adult erotica (visual or textual). May the farce be with you. Drats, that’s already taken, but I’m sure one of us thought of it first! We can backdate our journals to prove it.” “

http://www.seeingreality.com/starbright/?p=178

“In memory of Robert “Bobby” James Fischer (9 Mar 1943 - 18 Jan 2008)”

(MATTT: And also, let’s just mention the fact that Mr Gordon Hinckley is dead. I was going to write something witty, but I thought: “Oh, sod it! The poor old chap is dead, let him rest in peace.”)

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Carnival of the Veil for Sunday January 27


Welcome to this issue of The Carnival of the Veil. IT is a very peaceful Sunday lunchtime as I write this issue of COV.

My wife is downstairs chatting to a friend, the parrots are dozing, and so are the cats. The sun has gone behind some rain clouds. They aren’t raining yet, but they look as if it is only a matter of time before they do!

And here I sit upstairs on my study, working away. I have taken a break from writing articles for my online news magazines to get the COV up on line. If you would like to take a look at my online magazines you can access them via www.thatsnews.org.uk.

Enough self-promotion! On with the show!

First we kick off with a post from fiddley.com’s In The News blog at

http://fiddley.com/archive/200801/in_the_news_double_entendres_and_double_standards

“When asked about newly-inaugurated Salt Lake City mayor Ralph Becker's proposed registry for domestic partners, State Senator Chris Buttars (R - West Jordan) replied, "I have great empathy for that kind of thing. I have no problem with people sharing insurance or their wills, estates, real estate or lives. I just have to be certain we're not coming in the back door of the Amendment 3 [ban on gay marriage and civil unions]."

I'm sorry... did he just say, coming in the back door of Amendment 3? I thought so. Poor choice of words, Senator Butthole. Personally, I hope the registry gives Amendment 3 a reach-around and a Dirty Sanchez.”

(MATT: And this from a senator called BUTTarse or something like that…)

And now South Bay Soliloquies (Has to be one of the coolest blog names ever)

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2008/01/divided.html

“I want to be in a relationship but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me, someone who doesn't, for want of a better term, suck.
I want to be single but I hate waking up in the morning to myself in the cold. I hate not having anyone to share my life with.
I feel like I'm missing a huge part of why I'm single and yet other people's advice seriously annoys me. I'm convinced that every theory on why single people are single is full of enough cow manure you could swim in it.”

(MATT: Life sometimes is a bit of a pain in the bottom, isn’t it? My specialist subject is stating the bleedin’ obvious!)

But now a book review from South Bay Soliloquies

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2008/01/book-review-if-love-is-game-these-are.html

“Most self-help books aren't worth the paper they're printed on. Most of them are filled with some of the most unloving language possible, blaming the other sex for your relationship problems, immature coping techniques, etc. Most I think create more drama than they resolve.

I'm most probably not the most emotionally mature 24 year old on the planet, and the past month has certainly not been a good one for me in terms of maturity. However, at least I see that flaw on me and I know it's something I can work on.

I first read major portions of If Love is a Game, These are the Rules in Barnes and Noble about a year ago. This book is without a doubt the most honest, truly open book on fixing ourselves and by extension our relationships. How do we authentically get the love we truly want and deserve? How do we build a sense of our own self-worth? How do we maintain love once we've found it? This book will teach you that and more.”

(MATT: Don’t worry. There’s plenty of time for being mature later on in life. Although I seem to be less mature now at 50 than I was at 25. Oh, well!)


Next up is a post from Emerging From the Ashes

http://emergingfromtheashes.blogspot.com/2007/12/immorality-education.html

“Like other Mormon young women (doesn't everyone else call them teenagers or youth?), I had the importance of "morality" drilled into me. Morals and ethics are fine things, but in Mormon parlance, "morality" means one thing: abstinence from sex. Conversely, "immorality" means having sex. Why the terms took on such specific meanings I cannot fathom, and I believe it creates a skewed idea of what morality actually is, but that the topic of this post. What I want to talk about is the Mormon version of teaching youth about sex.

As a youth, I was taught that immorality (which I always had to sort out in my head as different from immortality, another hot topic in Mormon churches) was bad, bad, bad, to be avoided at all costs, and just downright bad. Fornication was listed as the third worst sin, after murder (number two), and denying the Spirit (whatever that means). How messed up is that? Also, if you were "immoral," you were unworthy to go to the temple. And it was the temple where you wanted to get married, to start your eternal family, so you had better avoid immorality!”

(MATT: Odd, isn’t it, that although Mormon young people are not allowed to f**k with their bodies, the Mormon Church likes to f**k with their minds…)

Kita Kazoo sends in this link from the Desert News. I thank God my parents never emigrated to Utah as they planned at one time.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,695246368,00.html

“Gregory "Doc" Lowery, owner of Happy Valley Tattoo & Piercing, believes American Fork police trampled his civil rights when they raided his shop in early January looking for what police say were questionable photographs.

Police obtained a search warrant for the shop after a man called police and said his daughter had seen photographs he felt were inappropriate for minors to view, said Lt. Darren Falslev. They executed the search warrant on Jan. 3 and took the pictures, photos of genital piercings, for further investigation. Falslev said police have turned their findings over to the county attorney's office, which will decide whether to file charges.”

(MATT: FWIW, I left a comment there.)


And now from CV Rick, Ninja Writer

http://www.cvrick.com/cv_rick/2008/01/i-never-had-a-p.html

“When I was sixteen years old I wanted to have a party. I was fairly popular, on the basketball team, a track star, getting good grades, and there wasn't anyone of note who wanted to beat me up. It was a pretty good year.

I went to my parents and asked if I could have a party. Mom smiled brightly, I remember. “That could be fun,”she said. This was an opportunity to make me happy at home, and as a teenager, I didn't have much happy time in the house.

“No,” my father said.

“But, why not?” I asked.

“There is no reason to have a party here. If you want to have a party, then just ask the clerk if you can reserve the gymnasium.”

“At the church?” I couldn't have wrung any more disappointment from my voice if I'd twisted my tongue like a rag.

“Nothing wrong with the church. There's a kitchen, the gym's big, and it'll fit all your friends.” He was staring at me, daring me. I knew he had his comeback locked and loaded, and I was set to release the target.

“Not all of my friends are Mormon,” I protested.

He fired, “Then it would be a perfect opportunity to fellowship them. You could give them your testimony.” “

(MATT: What a bloody nightmare.)

And now for my post. This is not a problem I have ever had to deal with, thank God. But I posted it because it is clearly something that a lot of people deal with. It is from the male perspective, though I know that many women will have to deal with the same issues.

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2008/01/your-ex-partner-has-someone-new-and.html

Your ex partner has someone new and introduced your kids - handle that!

The Biggest Ask

How do you come to terms with the fact that your ex-partner has someone new in their life and your children have met this new person?

Remember, it is completely acceptable and natural for your partner to move on and find themselves a new companion and partner. In fact, at some point in the future, you will be doing exactly the same, if you haven’t already.

First of all, that rising tide of nausea you feel when you first find out, and the waves of stress you feel when you start to hear all about them, is completely normal; as are all the other feelings that wash over you – anger, resentment, confusion, hurt, jealousy, loss and betrayal. Regardless of what caused you to separate from your ex-partner, it is quite likely that you will experience at least some, if not all, of these feelings at one point or another.”

See you in two weeks time!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Your ex partner has someone new and introduced your kids - handle that!

The Biggest Ask

How do you come to terms with the fact that your ex-partner has someone new in their life and your children have met this new person?

Remember, it is completely acceptable and natural for your partner to move on and find themselves a new companion and partner. In fact, at some point in the future, you will be doing exactly the same, if you haven’t already.

First of all, that rising tide of nausea you feel when you first find out, and the waves of stress you feel when you start to hear all about them, is completely normal; as are all the other feelings that wash over you – anger, resentment, confusion, hurt, jealousy, loss and betrayal. Regardless of what caused you to separate from your ex-partner, it is quite likely that you will experience at least some, if not all, of these feelings at one point or another.

Below are ten tips to help you deal with this most difficult of situations: “The Biggest Ask”.

(Although this article is written from the point of view of a separated dad, it applies equally well to separated mums if the genders are reversed, so all these tips are dedicated to every separated parent (dads AND mums) who at some point have to accept that their ex-partner has met someone new.)

Remember, you will always be your children’s dad

You are their only dad, they love you unconditionally, and no one can ever take your place. Your children will never say ‘he’s my dad’ about anyone else - because that’s you. You are not being ousted or replaced by another man, even though the new person may spend more time with your children. In fact, it is right now that your children need you to be ‘their dad’ more than ever before, and help them as they adjust to the new situation.

Let your anger out, but not in front of your children

Don’t bottle up your anger, because that will make you ill. However, you have to find the right time to express your feelings. Don’t let your children see your anger and frustration about the new person.

They have to spend time with the new person and they need to feel free to build a normal friendship with them. Remember you want your children to be happy. It is likely that they are going to find it difficult to get used to a new person in their home, and you can’t help them if they see you hurt and angry at the situation.

However, do allow your anger to come out. Sit in the back garden and bark at the moon if you must. Rail against the injustice of it all if that helps. But do it in an environment where you feel safe, with someone you trust – a friend or family member; if you have neither, then tell your doctor. There are always ways to let your feelings out and it’s important that you do let them out.

Don’t criticise your ex’s new partner in front of your children

Accept that this new man is there in your ex-partner’s life, in the lives of your children and in part, in your life too. If you criticise him in front of your children then they may become defensive or withdrawn. They may like him and criticising him will set you on a collision course with your children – the worst of all worlds.

Think of the situation from the children’s point of view

There is a new adult in their lives. They may feel guilty about liking him, because they think it might be disloyal to you. They may resent him taking up their space and their mother’s attention. It will probably confirm to them the sad truth that you and their mum will never be together again.

If they have fun times with the new person, it is likely that will feel awkward about things they have done together. They may even have been told to keep certain things secret. All of these thoughts and feelings are big things for your children to deal with, and come at a time when things are difficult anyway.

Remember, this isn’t just about you and your feelings, however awful you may feel, your children may not be too far behind you.

Don’t try and buy your children’s love with toys and treats

You can not show your children that you love them by buying them presents. Don’t suddenly start going out for big treats or expensive meals. All that will do is set up a bad association between establishing new relationships and material gain. Be the same person you have always been to them, that’s what they want and need.

Expensive toys and treats won’t make them love you more and won’t make you feel better, and is absolutely no substitute for your time. It’s really tough to keep your nerve when your children come to your house and tell you of a wonderful trip they went on, or the new person’s big posh car, or a fabulous holiday that they are planning, but remember, this isn’t a competition and you have nothing to prove.

Over and over, grown up children of separated parents say that these “big gesture” treats are no substitute for the parent that was always there for them, always knew what they were thinking and took an interest in them as a person. If you are in doubt, think back to when you were a child… what are the important things that you remember?

Show your children that you love them and you are there for them

As things change around your children, and new people come into their lives, you will of course feel that you want to demonstrate your love for them. This would be a good time to sit down together and plan a picnic, a day out or some other activity. Why not use this opportunity to book all their school concert dates into your work diary and make sure you have enough annual leave to attend their school fate and or sports day.

Do nice things with them, don’t go to a restaurant, instead, cook a meal together, or play football with them, or make something together (there’s plenty of ideas on dadcando). If you haven’t already done so, start a little routine with them, like getting a bun together when you pick them up, something simple that can become special to you, and something they can rely on.

Let your children talk about how they feel about the situation and listen to them

Your children may be experiencing many of the feelings you are and you may be the only person they can turn to who really understands them. You are their dad. You have it in you to make them happy. Accept that you can’t change things, but you can let your children know that it is OK to talk about their feelings to you.

This will be quite tough, because it means you will have to put your own feelings on hold while you help them. It also means not letting your own feelings about the new person intrude into the conversation. Treat what they say with care and respect and do not use this opportunity to manipulate their feelings.

Do make use of the special and irreplaceable bond between you and your children to help them through this potentially confusing time. Reassure them that whatever they have to say, it’s OK, because ‘you’re their dad.’

Depending on their age, you might find that you have to explain that there are different types of love and that just because mummy has a new partner it doesn’t mean that she loves them less. Whatever you do, be sensitive and respect the trust they put in you by telling you things.

Mentally prepare to meet the new partner

Either picking up the kids or dropping them off, or even while shopping in your local town, you are likely to meet the new partner at some point. It is a good idea to mentally prepare for that moment.

Some single fathers can accept the role their ex’s new partner plays in his children’s lives and are content with the situation, so long as their children are happy. However, the majority of fathers don’t relish the thought of meeting their ex’s new partner, particularly if that means meeting him at the door of what was once the family home.

Now, you don’t have to be pals with the guy, or take him down to the pub. Aim for polite civility, a business like relationship. Remember, your children are NOT having to choose between the two of you, he is just another part of their lives now, and you have to adjust to that.

Never be threatening or violent, it is unjustified and illegal and your children will lose all respect for you.

Don’t compare yourself with the new partner

It’s any easy trap to fall into, but you must try not to compare yourself to the new person. This is harder than it sounds, because even for the most emotionally secure people, even for those who have fully accepted that the relationship they had with their children’s mother is over, the arrival of a new man on the scene seems to exaggerate their past inability to make that relationship work.

Fight the urge to compare yourself with the new person. Stop yourself thinking: ‘Why does she like him instead of me? - What does she see in him? - What can he do that I can’t?’ Remember that money or looks are not what makes a great relationship (there are plenty of film stars to prove that), so comparing yourself unfavourably in either of those departments is less than useless.

If there are lessons to learn from how you have behaved, or things that you did wrong that helped finish the relationship, then look to yourself to correct those, so that you don’t make the same mistakes again, rather than comparing yourself with your ex’s new partner.

Don’t start a new relationship of your own just to spite your ex-partner

If knowing that your ex has found someone new gives you the permission you feel you need to start dating again, great, but don’t start (or finish for that matter) a relationship, just to make a point to your ex-partner.

You are separate from your ex-partner now and doing things to spite them or just to show them that you don’t care, shows exactly the opposite, in a disastrous way that ends up hurting you, your children and whoever else gets caught up in this particular game.

Getting into a relationship (for all the wrong reasons), that isn’t right for you, is bound to make your life much worse not better.

If you want to show your ex, that like them, you have moved on too, do so by being independent of them. Start making decisions about your life based on what makes YOU happy, not by what makes your ex-partner unhappy.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Hi. Hope you all had a good Christmas and New Year. And welcome to this edition of Carnival of the Veil.

Firstly let’s take a look at Eight Hour Lunch

http://www.eighthourlunch.com/2008/01/big-fat-friday-bff-invitation.html

“A couple of years ago on a bulletin board I used to visit, a bunch of us started a remote workout group. Of course distance prevented any of us from actually meeting each other, but we reported in regularly with our progress. For a long time it was a great way to get or stay in shape and make new friends.

So with that in mind, I'd like to propose BFF - Big Fat Friday as an online group event. I've already written chapter one, but I'd love for a bunch of you to join me in your fitness goals for the new year.”

(MATT: Now that’s an interesting idea. Somewhat scary, but an interesting idea never-the-less!)

Kita doesn’t think she will have anything for this issue, but kindly points out that Doc does. http://docloco.com/2008/01/utah-police-violate-church-pt-2.html

“Rev. Dr. Gregory Lowrey

Healer, Counselor, CEO

In Part 2 of this report, I will try to summarize Part 1 and include a summary history of the efforts of American Fork City to harass Whole Life Ministries since we moved to American Fork, Utah in March 2007.

Since writing part 1, I have been in contact with several private and government agencies regarding this matter and have found support at the County, State and Federal levels of Government while locally; American Fork Government is typically giving me the cold shoulder.”

(MATT: Having read this report all I can say is thank God my parents did not emigrate to Utah from Britain as they at one time planned to do.)

And this just in hot off the presses from Eight Hour Lunch!

http://www.eighthourlunch.com/2008/01/porn-again.html

“A few days ago someone told me with confidence that Utah leads the nation in porn consumption.”

(Matt: But Eight Hour Lunch remains to be convinced! -Though wasn’t there something on the RFM board not so long back about Google Search terms and didn’t porn search terms crop up rather a lot in SLC?)

And the next post is one from South Bay Soliloquies:

http://south-bay-soliloquies.blogspot.com/2008/01/date-night.html

“I'm made dinner tonight for a fellow. He's a nice fellow - I'm afraid I'm going to screw it up. But then, do I really want to be in a relationship? I mean, some aspects of relationships are nice, but I don't know if I really want to deal with some one else's issues. I have enough troubles dealing with my own!”

(MATT: If you fed him the recipes that you posted on your blog, he might not want to leave!)

And here is my contribution for this edition of COV

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2008/01/big-love-complete-first-season-debuts.html

“Big Love The Complete First Season Debuts on DVD 3 March in UK

"Fascinating...first-rate drama" - Time Magazine

How would you cope with being one of three wives to your devoted husband, competing for his time and affection?

Find out what it would be like the easier way as multiple Emmy® Award and Golden Globe® Award nominee BIG LOVE finally finds itself wed to DVD as The Complete First Season debuts on 3 March 2008 from HBO Video.

All 12 episodes and exclusive special features will be presented across 5 discs at the 'family value' price of £39.99 RRP….

“…The series, as broadcast on five tells the story of Bill Henrickson (Bill Paxton), a practicing Mormon fundamentalist polygamist who lives in suburban Salt Lake City with his three wives and seven children.”

(MATT: Oh. Did I mention that they were a family of Mormon fundamentalist polygamists? Oh, dear. I did!)

Do you know anyone who runs an exmoblog and who doesn’t submit it to COV? Please pass on an invitation to them to start submitting posts from their blogs.

See you all in two weeks time at the next edition of COV.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Big Love The Complete First Season Debuts on DVD 3 March in UK

"Fascinating...first-rate drama" - Time Magazine

How would you cope with being one of three wives to your devoted husband, competing for his time and affection?

Find out what it would be like the easier way as multiple Emmy® Award and Golden Globe® Award nominee BIG LOVE finally finds itself wed to DVD as The Complete First Season debuts on 3 March 2008 from HBO Video.

All 12 episodes and exclusive special features will be presented across 5 discs at the 'family value' price of £39.99 RRP.

Intriguing, quirky and wholly original, BIG LOVE is an exciting contemporary new HBO series whose provocative, offbeat subject matter, coupled with its high-profile cast and producers, make it a unique and highly-collectible show in the vein of Six Feet Under.

With three times the love, intrigue and betrayal, Big Love is a family drama like you’ve never seen before.

The Daily Mail described the series as the “perfect dramatic backdrop for the most dysfunctional family of the century” and The Daily Telegraph hailed it as “a cross between The Sopranos, Desperate Housewives and Six Feet Under”.

The series, as broadcast on five tells the story of Bill Henrickson (Bill Paxton), a practicing Mormon fundamentalist polygamist who lives in suburban Salt Lake City with his three wives and seven children.

An independent businessman who runs a growing chain of hardware stores, Bill faces a myriad of challenges in meeting the emotional, romantic and financial needs of his wives – Barb (Jeanne Tripplehorn – Basic Instinct), Nicki (Chloë Sevigny – Boys Don’t Cry) and Margene (Ginnifer Goodwin – Walk the Line).

The DVD set will include the special features;
• Two Audio Commentaries
• Short - Big Love: A Balancing Act On Ice

Release Date: 3 March 2008
Copyright: HBO
Video Certificate: 15
Genre: Drama
Price: £39.99 RRP
Running Time: 643 mins approx
Audio: English 5.1
Website: www.homeboxoffice.co.uk

Trombone Shorty Gives a Special Christmas Gift to the People of New Orleans

The newly built church was filled to its capacity of 1500 seats; people were seated in the aisles, standing in the doorways, and waiting in the hallway to hear the music. Traffic around the church was snarled and backed up for six blocks, as more people continued to make their way to hear Trombone Shorty, and his musical guests perform at a free Christmas concert at the First Baptist Church of New Orleans this past week, it was announced today by New Orleans Music Hall of Fame.

Caption: Troy Trombone Shorty Andrews performsTrombone Shorty and Orleans Avenue, along with the Louisiana Philharmonic Orchestra, and the Shades of Praise Choir, headlined the three-hour performance. Also performing were Ms. Susan King, a inspirational Gospel singer, and Terc Martinez, a up and coming Latin vocalist, with a special cameo appearance by Irvin Mayfield. The unique composition of the public concert reflected the changing population of the City of New Orleans, after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina.

Families, churchgoers, civil servants, and politicians alike basked in the warmth of the rich musical sounds of this one of a kind concert. Lt. Governor Mitch Landrieu praised Trombone Shorty for his dedication to the community, and honored him with an award from the State of Louisiana. Senator Diana Bajoie of Louisiana awarded him with a state proclamation for his musical contributions, and Mayor Ray Nagin also attended the multi-cultural event, and presented Trombone Shorty with a proclamation from the City of New Orleans. City Council members were also in attendance, along with State Representative Juan LeFonte, who also awarded Trombone Shorty with a declaration from the State of Louisiana House - all had come to hear this unique musical Christmas event organized by the New Orleans Music Hall of Fame featuring New Orleans's newest shining star, Troy "Trombone Shorty" Andrews.

"This is a time of unity and celebration - a time when the people of New Orleans can come together and enjoy some of the unique musical culture this city is famous for worldwide," said New Orleans Music Hall of Fame Founder and Executive Director, PopAgee Johnson. "This holiday is also a return to normalcy for many New Orleans natives - for many residents, this is the first time that the people have come together since the storm to celebrate together - and what better time than Christmas."

The concert was an unprecedented success - in fact, it was so successful that people had to be turned away due to fire code restrictions. Standing ovations happened many times throughout the night, and many people were seen with tears in their eyes during the song performed by the entire assembly, "O Holy Night." For some of the officials and business owners attending the event, the show was an eye- opener; a reminder of one of the amazing local resources that was severely affected by the Hurricane - the musicians of the city, and their dedication to the people of the city.

PopAgee Johnson, who was traveling on a forty-city tour with Trombone Shorty, thought of the idea of the musicians giving a free concert to the people of the City this year for Christmas. Less than four weeks before the event, the musicians and the Hall of Fame banded together to make this incredible event happen with the support of local businesses, the City of New Orleans, the State of Louisiana, and the newly built First Baptist Church of New Orleans.

The concert was an immense success, and helped to remind the people of the City and the State of why the community and people of New Orleans are so unique and varied, and worth fighting for. There were children and adults alike sitting in the aisle, pews, and yes, even the hallway, listening to the sweet sounds of a New Orleans Christmas - sounds of unity - and hope.

More information about Trombone Shorty and The New Orleans Music Hall of Fame is available at www.nomhf.org or by calling Scott Willis at 504-525-7694.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

The Last COV for 2007!

Hi! Welcome to the last COV for 2007. A bit sparse this issue, but with the holiday season, that’s only to be expected.

The first is a review of The Golden Compass from the Eight Hour Lunch blog. Actually, no, that’s not quite true. It is a review of a campaign to smear the film. Glad to see Eight Hour Lunch back with blogs.

http://www.eighthourlunch.com/2007/12/-vatican-newspaper-pans.html
“I've been following with some disgust the Catholic smear campaign against The Golden Compass. I know I'm a little late to the controversy, but that's because I've been busy doing something the critics at the Vatican were either too busy or too dishonest to do--I'm actually reading it.

I'm two-thirds of the way through the last book of the trilogy now, and I'd recommend the books to anyone. As I've read, the main characters have demonstrated nothing if not a driving hope for a better life and a deep and loyal commitment to the people who deserve their love. Pullman's clever and engaging style create a universe that's easy and enjoyable to immerse yourself in.”

(COV EDITOR: I have to admit I can’t get into Pullman’s style. Not my cup of tea, somehow…)

And the second one is another submission from Eight Hour Lunch. Two for the price of one! Can’t be a bad deal!

http://www.eighthourlunch.com/2007/12/not-a-bad-year.html

“Fighting a Losing Battle
Good news (un)faithful readers and podcast listeners! Your diligent work on the Web is starting to show returns. Mormon "apostle" Melvin Russell Ballard wants the faithful to step up the blogging!

“We cannot stand on the sidelines while others, including our critics, attempt to define what the Church teaches.”

Well, I've got news for you Melvin, your church doesn't have a leg to stand on even as you define it. As one of your sincere and devoted critics please allow me to congratulate you for arriving (albeit embarrassingly late) to the party.

Before you get too excited imagining the hoards of devoted young believers falling over themselves to follow your counsel, consider the humble numbers of this single blog. Last year, the Eight Hour Lunch Podcast was downloaded 14,582 times. Since January 1, 2007 this single site has served over 33,530 pages. And I've done a piss-poor job of keeping it current.”

(COV EDITOR: Great post! It makes some very telling points. But what faithful Mormon knows what their church teaches now? (Hinckley has spent so long denying the basic tenets of Mormon Doctrine that they are wandering around wondering who or what to believe.)

And from me, Matt, here is my post-Christmas post

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2007/12/post-christmas-musings-from-matt.html

“Hi. Hope you all had a good Christmas. I did. Champagne, wine, Sherry, Scotch, Port, real ale, lager, tea, coffee and some Vimto, too. (Vimto is a cordial that you add to water, though it is also available as a ready mixed drink, often carbonated. So you see the difference between me and a Mormon is that I can chose to drink alcohol or to not drink alcohol. Mormons do not have the luxury of free will.”

Also, a bit of fun with online photomanipulation of Mormon prophets

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2007/12/fun-photomanipulating-brigham-young-and.html

And also, a bit of fun, the Nativity story, seem from the point of view of the Cat at the Inn.

http://notamormon.blogspot.com/2007/12/cats-nativity-story-for-christmas.html

Hope you enjoy that piece of fiction.

Happy New Year!
See you in two weeks time!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Fun photomanipulating Brigham Young and others



Whilst whiling away a few moments I thought: "Why not play Wordo at http://www.miniclip.com/? When I arrived at Miniclip my attention was drawn to the following game: Putty Face.




My first effort is above.


Have fun!

Post Christmas musings from Matt

Hi. Hope you all had a good Christmas. I did. Champagne, wine, Sherry, Scotch, Port, real ale, lager, tea, coffee and some Vimto, too. (Vimto is a cordial that you add to water, though it is also available as a ready mixed drink, often carbonated. So you see the difference between me and a Mormon is that I can chose to drink alcohol or to not drink alcohol. Mormons do not have the luxury of free will.

Visited my mother on Christmas Eve, which was nice. She is getting better but oddly enough made little mention of her usual favourite topic, Mormonism, which made a nice change.

More post-Christmas expense. My poor Compaq laptop is getting a little tired and old so will be given a life of partial retirement. I have bought an HP Pavilion. It was the only computer close to my budget and has a much bigger screen so that should be good for my aging eyes!

Also had to buy a new modem, a Zyxel. I was going to use it in wireless mode but decided to use Ethernet, instead. AOL has cocked up and it is not possible at the moment to have AOL on my new computer at the moment.

I think that’s enough waffle from me. Happy New Year, everyone! See you in two weeks!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

A Cat's Nativity. A story for the Christmas season

This story is for your enjoyment.

THE CAT’S CHRISTMAS

It was springtime. While the days were getting warmer, it was still very cold at nights when you could see the stars, bright and twinkly in the sky. When I was a kitten I used to try and catch them. But now I am an adult cat I know I would have to jump very high to catch them, perhaps even twenty times my length- far too high for a cat!

I am not usually allowed in the part of the house where my people lived. Though I am sometimes allowed in, but I can see no reason why sometimes I am allowed in, but other times not. It is hard to work out what human people do. With cat people, it is easy.

My special human friend lives there with her parents. Usually we play together; sometimes we both cuddle up and sleep in front of the oven in the back room.

She is usually kind. Sometimes she oversteps the mark, but a thump with a paw or -occasionally- a slap with one claw across the back of her hand is enough to re-establish the limits. Well, you have to keep kittens in their place (even human ones) or very soon you would not know where you are!

The lady -the mistress- is kind enough to me and gets me food and water. Still, as she says, it is my job to kill any mice and rats that dare to enter her territory.

The master is different. Although he swears about me, he is really secretly very fond of me, making a fuss of me when he thinks nobody is watching. Although he tells the mistress off for feeding me too much, he secretly feeds me much more tasty morsels than she EVER does!

The master always talks to me, as he paces up and down in the back room. But recently he began to become more and more angry. I don’t mind this, but I do have to be very wary of his legs and feet and try to keep out of his way, whilst doing my best to look attentive.

I’ts a disgrace, cat! He shouted. How can we be expected to house all the hundreds of people who will be coming back to Bethlehem, just so they can be counted? The people know they exist, we know they exist, so what is the problem?

Don’t tell me! –It’s because a stupid Roman thought up the idea. Mind you, cat, that’s all the Romans know about anything. Building straight roads through things, not round them like good, God fearing people, worshipping false idols and counting people for tax reasons, as if they were wine sponges to be squeezed!

I sat watching him. I know my part.

He suddenly bent down and ruffled my fur and gave me a piece of meat. I purred as I eat it, just to show how much I appreciate his acts of kindness. In a way, I suppose I like him best of all.

I was normally indifferent to the strangers who come. -I remember when I was a kitten I did not like them, but quickly I realised that humans kick you or tread on your tail usually because as their heads and eyes are in such a funny position they cant see anything in front of them properly! I Laughed when I worked this out. It seems such a sad deformity for them to be burdened with.

Also, I realised that there was a link between the people staying and how much food would be bought. The strangers came with money that the mistress used to go to the market and exchange for food in the market.

I used to follow her there every morning when I was a kitten, but I soon found that not everyone liked cats, so I decided to stay at home and wait for her, instead.

I began not to like the place so much as more and more people began to come and stay. There was so many of them that they even slept in the back room where mistress prepared the food -and that had NEVER happened before!

To stay out of harms way I began spending more and more of my time in the stable across the back of the yard with the sheep, goats and cattle. -Mind you, the master’s cousin and uncle had just taken the sheep up into the hills as they do every spring.

I was in the house late one evening -just waiting for an opportunity to retreat to the stable in a huff!- when someone -it was a man from some place in the North -wherever THAT is!- said; This is strange -its light outside, yet there’s no moon tonight. Must be an omen of some kind. Should we get a Rabbi, do you think?

If he can fit in here, said a young man with a gruff voice. Anyway, what would you do, hide beneath his beard?! Everyone laughed, but I could tell they were all a bit nervous, which made me worried, too.

As the laughing died down, there was a thumping on the door.

No! We can’t fit anyone else in. -Cant they read the notice you put on the door?

The master said; Maybe not. Not all can read. I’ll deal with it. Shouldn’t take me too long. I followed him to the door. -After all, I am a cat and it is in our nature to need to know what is happening. Besides, I like to greet and inspect our guests!

As he stood before the door I could see that he was working himself up to turn the latecomer away. As he opened the door the words seemed to die in his throat as we were met by a pitiful sight.

On the doorstep was a man who looked so tired that he lent on his staff, nearly ready to drop. He looked like a well-to-do craftsman, but he was covered with the dirt of many days journey.

But he was not really what caught our attention, for he was not alone. With him, a little way back in the road, was a young girl on a very tired donkey. As I looked at her I could see that she looked worn out and was heavily in kitten.

Please, the man sounded tired beyond endurance. I know you are full, but my wife is pregnant and we have come from Nazareth for the Roman Census.

The master looked upset, for all his gruff ways he is a very kindly man.

I’m sorry, but there really is no room at the inn. -Why not try Zac’s place further down on the market street?

We did. He sent us to you.

The girl gave a little gasp. Joseph. -Please. Just take me to the edge of town. I think I must be near to my time. You’ll have to build me a little tent with your cloak.

You will do no such thing! Shouted the master. I am sure we can find a corner or... Suddenly he stopped. What am I thinking of? We have as much room as you could want and more, besides! -Come with me!

He went outside and if I hadn’t nimbly jumped to one side, he would have kicked me as he hurried round to the side gate which led to the yard.

He pointed to the stable; When I first started the inn, that was it. Guests and us upstairs, animals downstairs. We built the new place six years ago.

It’s not too bad. -The floors upstairs are too dangerous; otherwise you could have gone upstairs and used that. But there’s plenty of room downstairs, so long as you don’t mind sharing with the animals. -Still, the lads collected the sheep a week or two back to take them up to the hills, so there’s more room than there would have been.

Get your belongings sorted out and whilst you do that, Ill go and get the wife to bring you some blankets and some food. -I thought she was mad when she and some lad she’d hired to help her turned up with so much food from the market this morning. Told me she had a feeling that she should. Maybe she was right.

The man and the woman looked at each other and a smile passed between them as if they were sharing some secret joke.

As he strode across the yard the master said; normally can’t see a thing at night when the moon isn’t out, without a lantern, but there’s a big star or something up there, right above us. I suppose King Herrod’s wise men will be trying to work out what it means. -Much good it will do them. He’s not a patch on his Father, the old king, that one!

He left the couple in the stables and as he returned to the house I waited and watched the couple as they settled in.

There was something strange about the woman. -Strange but sort of beautiful. It was odd, but she was almost as beautiful as a cat.

Her husband and my mistress helped put her down on a bed of straw my master had hurriedly put together. He apologised for how rough it was, but she said it felt as if she was in a palace. She smiled at him and he went bright red, and coughed.

Not long after that, she gave birth. Now, I have seen my mistress drop a litter of human kittens –well, I say litter, but she only ever has one at a time!- and normally there is a lot of shouting and yelling, but the woman was very quiet and almost peaceful.

But when her kitten was born, he looked at me! I know he did. And he smiled at me. I stared at him and I felt all weak on my legs, like I had never felt before. But it was a good, warm feeling. Like when your mother cuddles you and licks you all over. That kind of feeling. They wrapped him up –I expect it was because all human children lose their fur, somehow, and laid him in a little box thing, called a manger. He seemed a lot more quiet than most human kittens, I thought. All the while, through the night there was a funny bright light in the sky. It did not make much difference to me (I can get by in the day or night with my sharp eyes) but it upset and intrigued the humans.

The man sorted out the Roman Census for him and his wife. Though there was a bit of confusion as the child had been born here in Bethlehem and not where they came from. But that was sorted out.

Soon, everyone had gone back to their homes, everyone except our regular guests, a travelling salesman and our family in the stables. Master and mistress begged them to come in –their names were Joseph and Mary, but they said they were very comfortable where they were and did not wish to move again so soon! Mistress was worried she would look like a bad landlady, but I told her it would be alright, as I would look after them and keep an eye on them. The lads with the sheep came down to see the baby, they even bought a lamb with them. They said it could not have lived outside, but it wasn’t that cold out there. I think the boy with them just wanted to introduce his favourite lamb to the special human kitten!

It was one of these occasions when I was watching over them that I saw three very important looking humans on camels. In case you have never seen a camel they are like horses, but not quite. They were dressed in fine robes and they gave presents to the baby, but the mother and the father seemed anxious.

Then, as quickly as they came, the family went away again. Some important person came looking for them, a messenger from the King, but my humans were only able to say they had gone to Egypt and had not said if they would be back.

***

I am an old cat now, my whiskers are drooping a bit, my fur is going grey, my bones ache sometimes and me and master do not do very much now, but sit by the fire and we both purr, but I still miss that human kitten, the one they called Jesus.