Sunday, January 27, 2008

Carnival of the Veil for Sunday January 27

Welcome to this issue of The Carnival of the Veil. IT is a very peaceful Sunday lunchtime as I write this issue of COV.

My wife is downstairs chatting to a friend, the parrots are dozing, and so are the cats. The sun has gone behind some rain clouds. They aren’t raining yet, but they look as if it is only a matter of time before they do!

And here I sit upstairs on my study, working away. I have taken a break from writing articles for my online news magazines to get the COV up on line. If you would like to take a look at my online magazines you can access them via

Enough self-promotion! On with the show!

First we kick off with a post from’s In The News blog at

“When asked about newly-inaugurated Salt Lake City mayor Ralph Becker's proposed registry for domestic partners, State Senator Chris Buttars (R - West Jordan) replied, "I have great empathy for that kind of thing. I have no problem with people sharing insurance or their wills, estates, real estate or lives. I just have to be certain we're not coming in the back door of the Amendment 3 [ban on gay marriage and civil unions]."

I'm sorry... did he just say, coming in the back door of Amendment 3? I thought so. Poor choice of words, Senator Butthole. Personally, I hope the registry gives Amendment 3 a reach-around and a Dirty Sanchez.”

(MATT: And this from a senator called BUTTarse or something like that…)

And now South Bay Soliloquies (Has to be one of the coolest blog names ever)

“I want to be in a relationship but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me, someone who doesn't, for want of a better term, suck.
I want to be single but I hate waking up in the morning to myself in the cold. I hate not having anyone to share my life with.
I feel like I'm missing a huge part of why I'm single and yet other people's advice seriously annoys me. I'm convinced that every theory on why single people are single is full of enough cow manure you could swim in it.”

(MATT: Life sometimes is a bit of a pain in the bottom, isn’t it? My specialist subject is stating the bleedin’ obvious!)

But now a book review from South Bay Soliloquies

“Most self-help books aren't worth the paper they're printed on. Most of them are filled with some of the most unloving language possible, blaming the other sex for your relationship problems, immature coping techniques, etc. Most I think create more drama than they resolve.

I'm most probably not the most emotionally mature 24 year old on the planet, and the past month has certainly not been a good one for me in terms of maturity. However, at least I see that flaw on me and I know it's something I can work on.

I first read major portions of If Love is a Game, These are the Rules in Barnes and Noble about a year ago. This book is without a doubt the most honest, truly open book on fixing ourselves and by extension our relationships. How do we authentically get the love we truly want and deserve? How do we build a sense of our own self-worth? How do we maintain love once we've found it? This book will teach you that and more.”

(MATT: Don’t worry. There’s plenty of time for being mature later on in life. Although I seem to be less mature now at 50 than I was at 25. Oh, well!)

Next up is a post from Emerging From the Ashes

“Like other Mormon young women (doesn't everyone else call them teenagers or youth?), I had the importance of "morality" drilled into me. Morals and ethics are fine things, but in Mormon parlance, "morality" means one thing: abstinence from sex. Conversely, "immorality" means having sex. Why the terms took on such specific meanings I cannot fathom, and I believe it creates a skewed idea of what morality actually is, but that the topic of this post. What I want to talk about is the Mormon version of teaching youth about sex.

As a youth, I was taught that immorality (which I always had to sort out in my head as different from immortality, another hot topic in Mormon churches) was bad, bad, bad, to be avoided at all costs, and just downright bad. Fornication was listed as the third worst sin, after murder (number two), and denying the Spirit (whatever that means). How messed up is that? Also, if you were "immoral," you were unworthy to go to the temple. And it was the temple where you wanted to get married, to start your eternal family, so you had better avoid immorality!”

(MATT: Odd, isn’t it, that although Mormon young people are not allowed to f**k with their bodies, the Mormon Church likes to f**k with their minds…)

Kita Kazoo sends in this link from the Desert News. I thank God my parents never emigrated to Utah as they planned at one time.,5143,695246368,00.html

“Gregory "Doc" Lowery, owner of Happy Valley Tattoo & Piercing, believes American Fork police trampled his civil rights when they raided his shop in early January looking for what police say were questionable photographs.

Police obtained a search warrant for the shop after a man called police and said his daughter had seen photographs he felt were inappropriate for minors to view, said Lt. Darren Falslev. They executed the search warrant on Jan. 3 and took the pictures, photos of genital piercings, for further investigation. Falslev said police have turned their findings over to the county attorney's office, which will decide whether to file charges.”

(MATT: FWIW, I left a comment there.)

And now from CV Rick, Ninja Writer

“When I was sixteen years old I wanted to have a party. I was fairly popular, on the basketball team, a track star, getting good grades, and there wasn't anyone of note who wanted to beat me up. It was a pretty good year.

I went to my parents and asked if I could have a party. Mom smiled brightly, I remember. “That could be fun,”she said. This was an opportunity to make me happy at home, and as a teenager, I didn't have much happy time in the house.

“No,” my father said.

“But, why not?” I asked.

“There is no reason to have a party here. If you want to have a party, then just ask the clerk if you can reserve the gymnasium.”

“At the church?” I couldn't have wrung any more disappointment from my voice if I'd twisted my tongue like a rag.

“Nothing wrong with the church. There's a kitchen, the gym's big, and it'll fit all your friends.” He was staring at me, daring me. I knew he had his comeback locked and loaded, and I was set to release the target.

“Not all of my friends are Mormon,” I protested.

He fired, “Then it would be a perfect opportunity to fellowship them. You could give them your testimony.” “

(MATT: What a bloody nightmare.)

And now for my post. This is not a problem I have ever had to deal with, thank God. But I posted it because it is clearly something that a lot of people deal with. It is from the male perspective, though I know that many women will have to deal with the same issues.

Your ex partner has someone new and introduced your kids - handle that!

The Biggest Ask

How do you come to terms with the fact that your ex-partner has someone new in their life and your children have met this new person?

Remember, it is completely acceptable and natural for your partner to move on and find themselves a new companion and partner. In fact, at some point in the future, you will be doing exactly the same, if you haven’t already.

First of all, that rising tide of nausea you feel when you first find out, and the waves of stress you feel when you start to hear all about them, is completely normal; as are all the other feelings that wash over you – anger, resentment, confusion, hurt, jealousy, loss and betrayal. Regardless of what caused you to separate from your ex-partner, it is quite likely that you will experience at least some, if not all, of these feelings at one point or another.”

See you in two weeks time!

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