Monday, July 06, 2009

Weird Mormon stories

“Mormon proprietor tastes alcohol without swallowing”

(EDITOR: Just stop serving booze!)

“LDS Leaders strive to help foreign members feel comfortable in a historically America-centric religion”

(EDITOR: Stop pretending everywhere in the world is downtown SLC, you idiots!)

“Park said Parley Pratt helped articulate the Mormons' "radically optimistic" view of the body. This view developed as doctrines were revealed by Joseph Smith and then explained by Pratt”

(EDITOR: Oh, yeah! Boffing other men's wives!)


Anonymous said...

Sorry I can't find a way to talk to you privatly. I also appologise for not reading all of your blog before posing this question but why are you so bent on showing negative parts of Mormanism?

Matt said...

Well, Ella.

I am a former Mormon. I find the ridiculous nature of Mormonism rather fascinating.

And to think, I spent years and years as a faithful, believing Mormon...

Rebeckah said...

"but why are you so bent on showing negative parts of Mormanism?"

I always wonder why Mormoanism is so bent on hiding their negative parts. Isn't pursuit of the truth a noble goal? Shouldn't "God's True Church on Earth" be able to withstand full disclosure? Why are you trying so hard to hide the negativity, Ella?

Matt said...

And Ella, what about Parley P. Pratt?

Did you know he married women who were already married? Thus Pratt was an adulterer.

Janus said...

When my family first moved to Utah because my Dad had gotten a job with a big company out there, the first day we had Mormons knocking on our door distributing books and crap. I even got this Children's Book of Mormon, a comic book like version of the BoM. Well, I start reading this and then I get to the part where God curses the bad brother and his tribe making them black.

"For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people, the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them. And thus saith the Lord God; I will cause that they shall be loathsome unto thy people, save they shall repent of their iniquities."

Of course, I was reading it in comic form but still, I stopped there and took it to my Dad and I was basically like WTF? Even though I was only 8 at the time, I knew there was something wrong with this.

It wasn't until 1978 that the church decided they would give 'equal' rights to Blacks because they were going to lose their tax exempt status.

Still racism in the church is prevalent. Their founder Brigham Young said the penalty for an interracial marriage would be death. And according to church doctrine the most devout black person could only enter the mormon's 'celestial heaven' as a servant.

Basically, meaning a slave in 'heaven'. Not to mention the church contains a wealth of gender discrimination as well.

Although, externally they have disavowed racism, it's still prevalent in their sermons, teachings, doctrine, bible, and actions.

Seeing an interracial couple in Utah as a teen, I saw them surrounded by hostile stares.

And it is still incredibly taboo and chastised for a white mormon to marry a black person.

The Misanthropic Mormon said...

i like the verb "boffing." it's a new one to me.

Matt said...

Glad you like it! It's an old English word.

Related are:

"At it like a rat up a pump"
"Having a bit of ferret"

Tom said...

Great collection. You may want to add this video: