Sunday, September 19, 2010

Matt meets the Mormons and gives 'em what for!

Yesterday, I had a good day. I had visited my doctor (yes, on a Saturday and for free) and gone to pay the gas and electricity bill (finally sorted out after a great deal of effort) I'd met my Managing Director and one of his children on the way back from Football practice (that's soccer, if anyone wonders) and I was almost at home having had a glorious walk in some surprisingly warm September sunshine when I was almost home when my heart sank. Oh, no! Mormon missionaries!

It was the overaggressive deadly duo I had had a run in with several weeks previously.

They have a very annoying way of approaching people on the street. They had just been told "no" by someone and switched their attention to a woman walking through a small park area at the side of the pavement (sidewalk). "Can we share our message with you?" said the more aggressive one. "No! Thank you" she said, firmly but politely.

"Oh!" He shouted at her, rudely. "So you don't believe in God?!"

I looked at his companion, who was heading towards me, a look of fervour in his eyes. "He's still very presumptive, isn't he?" I said.

Companion said: "Can we share a message with you about..." I cut him off by saying: No, thank you!"

He continued to drone on, giving me his sales script. I repeated myself. It made not a jot of difference. He went on and on.

At this point I lost my temper, somewhat. I said, very loudly: "I have said NO! I quite like the word no! It's short and to the point. It only has one syllable and two letters. N and O. I wonder which part of that rather short word you seem to have trouble grasping?"

At this point a man out walking his dog let out a snort of laughter.

The companion then said: "Well, if you are not interested in us sharing our message, perhaps you might know some people who would be interested in us sharing our message with them?"

I shouted: My God! It's like being assaulted by a religious salesman in the street! Please! Just go away! I am NOT interested!"

He then said: "Have a nice day!" To which I replied: "Yes, you have a nice day, too."

It was clear they were beyond reason and beyond debate or argument. My parents became Mormons in 1966. Throughout that time as a TBM and an exmo I have met many Mormon missionaries from all over the world from all types of backgrounds. I can honestly say I have never met a more dense and self-centred pair of plonkers as these.

Are they playing a game? Seeing how many people they can enrage?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You ask - "Are they playing a game? Seeing how many people they can enrage?"

You have to remember that the missionaries are victims too. They are being brainwashed and controlled just as much as the members. Actually it is at least 10 times worse for the missionaries.

For every single person I approached on my mission, I was confronted by an immediate schism in my brain between my own logical self-critique of the disgusting manipulation tactings I was using and my desire to an obedient missionary. Wanting to be obedient was really just my fear of losing my mormonism. I remember quite a few times that my brain got too tired of maintaining the schism, and as a result I starting acting rude and careless toward people, that I didn't know at all.

Maybe it is just the logical side of their brain sneaking a message through: "Please don't actually talk to us. We really don't think this is a good message. We are only out here because we aren't strong enough to break free on our own."