Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Has my mother being driven mad by years of Mormonism?

The reason I ask is because she seems unable to employ rational thought processes. The woman who used to be bright and clever is now, well, acting stupid, for want of a better word. And has been doing so for at least ten years.

Some examples of what I mean.

I caught glandular fever. My mother advised me that as she did not want my nephews catching this that I must on no account visit her. I thought this was a little harsh, but I acquiesced to her instruction.

Some time later she range me up, tearfully, berating me for “not visiting her.” When I pointed out that I was only acting on her instructions she said in an odd, cold voice: “Oh. Yes. That’s right. That’s what I said” almost as if she resented my remembering it.

When she went on her mission several years ago my brother and my sister and their families both moved house and took the decision not to tell me their new addresses or new phone numbers. For the full time she was away (with a holiday at the end it was 24 months) they made not one effort to contact me or tell me how they were. Suddenly when she comes back the family and my mother both express shock and concern that I do not feel willing or able to have a family relationship with them. As I said to my wife at the time they all took the decision to cut me out of their lives: “I can take a hint. They obviously have no room for me in their lives.”

Whenever I phone my mother she says: “Oh, I do miss speaking with you.” But she can’t really miss speaking to me, or why would she not just pick up the phone and call me? I mean, she is Internet savvy, has done a legit online university course and sends email to everyone in the family (but not me) so yes, she could call me and speak with me, if she really wanted to.

And my mother (when I phone her up) says: “We do miss you at family events. You should come to them.” That’s a real great idea, mother. Except, of course, I have only been invited to a family event once in three years. It was my mother’s birthday over two years ago and I was invited by accident. The party was actually a Sunday lunch crammed between video showings of a General Conference, so was not really a fitting way to mark her 70th birthday, but then, as an exmo, what would I know?


The Sinister Porpoise said...

I don't know. Just pray your mother never really does go crazy. It's not a fun experience.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Gotta love family dysfunction. I'm sorry you were treated this way. Not cool.