Sunday, April 23, 2006

Mormon trolls how to kick their butts

I had a Mormon troll. At first his emails were polite. But I had the feeling that it was a false politeness. How so? Because his attitude was oily and Unctuous. He was smarmy, creeping and almost grovelling in his attitude. Fans of Dickens will understand it when I say he was a regular Uriah Heap.

He “really, sincerely wanted to know why I had fallen away from the faith? In truth I had not fallen away form the faith I had, actually, parachuted away to safety from the crashing, burning wreck of Mormonism. He wittered on about "logic" rather a lot, though it became clear his concept of logic was somewhat "fluffy."

Well,” I thought, “if you really want to know why I stopped being a Mormon, I will tell you.” So I did. The following is the email that I sent him.

Hello, xxxx.

How I came to my decision about Mormonism not being true was not based on logic. No. It was based on prayer.

Many times I prayed aboutthe Mormon church, as Mormons are told to do in theBook of Mormon.

After many days of praying, I received a witness from God that the Mormon faith was not true.

I admit that this answer was not the one I expected,so it did come as something of a surprise to me (as you can suppose) but I made the change to being a Christian quite easily, all things considered.

As a Mormon I had to accept Joseph Smith as well as Jesus Christ. Now I only have to accept Jesus Christ. Which is, from a Christian standpoint, far more theologically sound.

Best wishes, Matt

XXXX did not like this. He did not like his one little bit! He sent me emails mocking me, and deriding what I had said.

He claimed: that: “I had never read the Book of Mormon.”

“That I had never even been baptised as a Mormon”

“Had never had a testimony”

and “had not prayed to God” and had “never attended seminary or institute.”

All of the above points were entirely untrue.

XXXX (I am not mentioning his name as he demanded that I pass his emails on to other ex-Mormons, and I decided I did not want him to have any publicity) could not really cope with the idea that if someone prayed (Moroni’s promise, is it?) they would not get the answer the Mormon church claims you will get, that the Mormon church is true.

I prayed and God told me it was not true. End of story, as we say in Britain.

But it was not end of story for XXXX. His emails became even more obnoxious and, in the end, I decided not to respond to them any longer as he was starting to get on my tits, to be honest. Life is far too short to allow fascist TBM idiots such as XXXX to have rent free room inside one’s head.


Kim Strahan said...

Ah I hate that. Seems to me like XXXX proved your point. Didn't you know that Mormoni's little known promise that the answer of your prayer will come in a self righteous jerk who claims to know more about you than even yourself. Yup, you still continue to get answers to that prayer, but sorry you had to deal with your troll.

My visiting teacher troll leaves me Mormon cookies every month. That is what my husband dear calls them and he is proof you can't convert by eating the cookies. Maybe she did not bless them hard enough.

Sarah said...

That's hilarious about the cookies. As a Mormon myself, I get a laugh out of all the misguided "fellowshiping" that goes on in food form. What we really need to do is to start passing out cash - people like cash, right?

Anonymous said...

There is NOT enough money that could return me to the living hell called "The Church". I get chills up and down my spine even contemplating a life consisting of boring meetings, and meetings to plan more boring meetings, and the once a month open mike with its "travelmony's" all this and more to gain the "Celestial Heaven" as John Larsen so eloquently stated "I would commit celestial suicide".